There are additional quotes on each of the episode reviews.
Foothold
Teal'c: "There was no sign of the Harsesis child."
O'Neill, a bit too loudly: "Just rain. Much rain. Wind, lightning, hail, did I mention the rain, Sir?"
Hammond: "Report to the infirmary."
O'Neill: "Well, I think we'd all like to change first, General. I personally have mushrooms growing out of my...." Over the PA they hear an announcement about the transport of hazarduous materials. "Infirmary. Yes, Sir."Fraiser: "Loosen your belt please, Colonel."
O'Neill: "How's a needle in my butt going to get water out of my ear?"
Fraiser: "It isn't. Come on, Sir, you know this is standard procedure."
O'Neill: "We should rethink this procedure."O'Neill, to the nurse with the needle: "Listen, really jam it in this time, okay?"
Carter: "Mayborne, you are an idiot every day of the week, why couldn't you have taken just one day off?!"
Mayborne: "I fully intend to return with you just to make sure everything's alright."
Carter, to O'Neill: "And you agreed to that?" She turns back to Mayborne. "Shouldn't that tell you something?"Davis: "What's going on? How did we get like this?"
O'Neill: "You're asking me?"O'Neill, after punching "Fraiser" in the face and she finally falls to the ground: "That was weird."
Carter: "Look, Colonel, Mayborne's forces are moving in soon."
O'Neill: "Mayborne? How'd he get....?"
Carter: "I called him."
O'Neill: "Willingly?!"O'Neill: "I pulled that headband thing off of Fraiser, her evil twin came running."
Carter: "Well how did you two get free?"
Davis: "We just woke up."
Carter: "Must've happened when I killed you."
O'Neill: "I'm sorry....?"O'Neill: "I've come for the bald prisoner." The guards let him into the cell. "You will come with me."
Teal'c: "I will submit to no further experiments."
O'Neill: "Oh but you will." He turns to the guards. "I'll take it from here."
Guard: "Can't allow that, Sir."
O'Neill: "Oh but you can." He shoots both of them.
Teal'c: "Colonel O'Neill, I presume."
O'Neill: "What gave it away?"O'Neill: "Sure you're up to this?"
Teal'c: "As always."
O'Neill: "You're an animal."O'Neill, about the destruction in the Gate room: "Coat of paint, a little touch up, it'll be fine."
Pretense
O'Neill: "So who's on trial?"
Daniel, correcting him: "...ad."
O'Neill: "Triad...l."Narim: "Our destination is the new homeworld, Tollana."
Carter: "But we sent you to the Nox planet. There wasn't a gate on Tollana."
Narim: "The Nox and the Tollan were able to devise a way to get us there."
O'Neill: "Of course you were."
Daniel: "Way smarter than we are."Carter: "So you built that...Stargate."
Daniel: "Way smarter than we are."
O'Neill: "Ours is bigger."Narim: "No harm will come to you. The Tollan will guarantee it."
O'Neill: "Is that a money back if you're not completely alive guarantee?"Chancellor: "We are honored that you have agreed to participate in Triad. Your seeker will decide which one of you will be archon."
O'Neill: "Seeker? Archon? Daniel?"O'Neill: "Nice device. We'll take a dozen."
Narim: "As you may recall from our last encounter, it is forbidden for the Tollan to give our technology to any culture less advanced than our own."
O'Neill: "Still got that arrogance bug, I see."Daniel: "Yeah, well, all this weapons chatter gets my blood pumping but can we get back to the Triad?"
O'Neill: "Well, this just became a piece of cake, a walk in the park, a day at the beach."
Daniel: "An accident waiting for a place to happen."
O'Neill: "Mr. Negative."Carter: "Sir, what makes you so confident?"
O'Neill: "Because Lya is a fair and insightful person who will vote our way. Besides, she likes us."
Daniel: "Lya likes everyone. That's the Nox way."Skaara: "I was born to this body, free of the demon Klorel. He stole my body. On Abydos I would have married, had children, grown old, and died. The Goa'uld took more than my body. He stole my life."
O'Neill: "Can I go first?" Daniel agrees. "Your argument is flawed in oh so many ways. Humans are self-aware, animals aren't."
Zipacna: "Animals are not because you deem them not to be, just as we deem humans not to be."
Daniel: "What my learned colleague means is that humans have a more advanced intelligence than lower caste animals."
O'Neill: "Exactly, just like that."
Zipacna: "Is that not a matter of perspective? Just like a human considers itself more intelligent than a pig, might not a pig feel itself more intelligent than a...rat?"
O'Neill: "Speakin' of rats, what's your point?"
Zipacna: "My point is that the Goa'uld consider ourselves more intelligent than humans. Our technology is more advanced than yours. Our mere knowledge of the universe is more advanced than yours."
O'Neill: "You stole that knowledge!"
Daniel: "You took human knowledge when you took humans as hosts, just as you took knowledge from other species. The Stargate isn't your technology, you just took that. As far as we know, nothing you have came from you. So the evidence isn't that you're more intelligent, just...more parasitic."
Zipacna: "Our method of gaining the knowledge is not a question. We were able to obtain it. You were not."
O'Neill: "Oh, please."Narim: "Samantha.... I have missed you."
Carter: "A lot has happened to me since I last saw you."
Narim: "There is another."
Carter: "No. Not in the way that you mean. See, I was blended with a Tok'ra and she died to save my life but I still have her memories and her feelings."
Narim: "Then she is part of you."
Carter: "Yes. I can't have a relationship with anyone until I'm absolutely sure whose feelings I'm feeling. Understand?"
Narim: "You are very wise, Samantha."Chancellor: "We asked Lord Zipacna about your accusations and he denied it. He was quite offended."
O'Neill: "Well that's a shocker. I hope you didn't take his word for it."Chancellor: "Our technology is superior in every way to theirs, and to yours."
O'Neill: "My, aren't we cocky."Daniel: "We would put for that life as a slave is not life at all."
Zipacna: "My vessel comes in anticipation of our victory at Triad. It is merely coming to take us along."
O'Neill: "Why don't you just take a Stargate like the rest of us?"
Zipacna: "Not that it is of your concern, but there is no Chaapa'ai where we are going."
O'Neill: "Then gate to where there is one and get picked up."Chancellor: "Human archons, may we hear your vote?"
Daniel: "We find in favor of Skaara."
Chancellor: "Goa'uld archon."
Zipacna: "In favor of Klorel."
O'Neill: "Big surprise there."
Chancellor: "Nox archon."
Lya: "After careful consideration, I believe that both Klorel and Skaara have the right to live. But living as a host with no will of one's own is not life. Therefore only one may remain in the body. To that end, I award priority to the original owner of the body, Skaara."O'Neill, to Narim: "How's that superior technology looking now? Security system serving you pretty well, is it?"
O'Neill: "You know, I hate when people waste my time like this."
Chancellor, to Teal'c: "You disregarded my warnings."
O'Neill: "Mine too. Well done."Carter: "I thought the Nox were pacifists."
Lya: "I only hid the weapon. I did not fire it."
Carter: "Ah. Pretty fine line you didn't cross."
Lya: "Yes, it is."O'Neill: "So, we basically saved your whole planet, right?"
Chancellor: "Yes."
O'Neill: "Are you, therefore, indebted to us in any modest way?"
Chancellor: "I suppose that is the case."
O'Neill: "So how 'bout the blueprints to build one of those ion cannons?"
Chancellor: "You have been told our policy. That has not changed."Urgo
Teal'c: "Appearances may be deceiving."
O'Neill: "One man's ceiling is another man's floor."
Daniel: "A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell."
O'Neill: "Never run with...scissors?"O'Neill: "Mmmm...mineral survey. My favorite."
Hammond: "Colonel?"
O'Neill: "I know, General, it's all fun and games before someone breaks a nail."O'Neill: "Au revoir, mon General."
Teal'c: "I am unfamiliar with that term, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "Au revoir, it's French. It means chow. Chow means adios, apatoze (anyone know the language or spelling of this?), sayonara, which all very loosely translated means..." they step through the gate and arrive back in the SGC, "...goodbye."Daniel: "Wow, this coffee's...great."
Carter: "I was just thinking that."
O'Neill: "Yeah, is that cinnamon?"
Daniel: "It's some kind of...it's chicory."
O'Neill: "Chicory." Teal'c picks up the pot of coffee and drinks the whole thing.
Carter: "Teal'c?"
Teal'c: "Ah."
O'Neill: "Isn't that hot?"
Teal'c: "Extremely."Hammond: "Can these devices be removed?"
Fraiser: "Not without causing irreparable brain damage, Sir."
O'Neill: "What's the down side?"Hammond: "Can we determine what kind of threat they pose?"
O'Neill: "Well, apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger."Urgo: "You are so smart, Samantha. I love that about you."
O'Neill: "Carter?"
Carter: "The technology implanted in our brains, Sir. We're looking at some kind of visual communication interface, controlled hallucination."
O'Neill: "So...I...what?"
Urgo: "He gets confused. By the way, who is Mary Steenburgen?"Urgo: "Boring. By the way, who decorated this room? It is so plain. Please don't tell me that your whole planet is like this. Not the whole planet. Hey, couldn't we go someplace else that's not here? Someplace, you know, that's not here? Kree! Anywhere! Boring."
Fraiser: "Okay, so what does he look like?"
O'Neill: "A famous tenor."Urgo: "What is this?"
Carter: "It's a defibrillator."
Urgo: "Ah, interesting. Thank you. Is it...defibrillating now?"
Carter: "He, ah, it seems to crave new experiences." Turns to Urgo. "You use the paddles to administer an electric shock to people whose hearts are beating irregularly."
Urgo: "Ah, and then they feel better? Does it feel good?" Carter shakes her head. "Does it hurt?" Carter nods. "Woo! It hurts?!"
Daniel: "I would think so."
Urgo: "Let's try it!"
Daniel: "No, I don't...think so."
Urgo: "Why not? It's not going to kill you is it? Or is it?"Urgo, to O'Neill: "Will you loosen up?!"
O'Neill: "Hey, I'm loose."Urgo: "Oh, I'm picking your brains, you can pick my brains. I'll tell you anything you want to know. Ask me. Ask me anything. What? What?"
Teal'c: "Tell us how to remove you from our brains."
Urgo: "Oh..." he makes a weird sound "...except that. Duh."Urgo: "Years from now, when you're thinking about me, you're going to say, 'Oooh, how did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion?' Woof."
O'Neill: "Years from now?!"
Daniel: "Woof?"Teal'c: "We are not wild animals."
Urgo: "Speak for yourself, big fella."Urgo: "Okay, I know that you only like me a little bit, but I like you a lot and I do not want you to die."
Daniel: "Die?"
Urgo: "Yes, as in dead. They're going to kill you. They'll open your brains with a big, giant can opener, then scoop me out with a big scoopy thing...that's how it works, it's death or me. Me or death. You have to decide. Me, or death. Well?"
O'Neill: "We're thinking."Carter: "I haven't had much time to study the technology, but I could at least try to find a way to turn him off."
Urgo: "Turn me off?!"
O'Neill: "Please."Carter: "I don't have time to play, Urgo! ... I don't care if I'm 'it.'... Because I have work to do. ... No, I am not hungry. Look, go eat pie with Colonel O'Neill, I am very busy right now!"
Hammond: "Major?"
Carter: "I was...talking to Urgo, Sir."
Hammond: "I see."
Carter: "Oh, I wish you did."Hammond: "Doctor, are we entirely sure that the members of SG-1 are...what's the word?"
Fraiser: "Sane?"
Hammond: "That's the one."Carter: "A strong enough EM pulse can knock out most electronic based technologies. It would be harmless to us but it should render Urgo impotent."
Urgo: "Could you, ah, rephrase that?"Urgo: "I throw myself at your mercy. Please, have mercy. Whoo, I know, I can be smaller." He becomes smaller. "How's this? How can someone this teeny weeny hurt anybody? Wait, I can be dull, want me to be dull? What a nice shade of gray. How about some white bread with mayonnaise. I want to watch golf on television."
O'Neill: "Will you just flip that switch?"
Urgo: "No. Oh, how about this?" He morphs into Peter DeLuise with slicked back hair, a uniform, and a big smile. "Can you resist this?" He changes back to himself. "Oh, don't do that, oh, sacra...bl..." His image becomes kinda wavy. "I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world...what a world!"O'Neill: "I was not singing. I'd know if I was singing. I don't even know the words to Row Row...." Dr. Fraiser sticks in the tape of him singing. "Okay, if you call that singing. Urgo." Urgo reappears.
Carter: "Well, he can't actually make us do anything we don't want, Sir."
Fraiser: "Then why did I have to treat your arm for a burn? Didn't you say Urgo was responsible?"
Urgo: "I didn't mean to."
Daniel, O'Neill, and Carter: "He didn't mean to."
Teal'c: "It was not his intention." Urgo gives Teal'c a thumbs up.
Hammond: "I trust I have made my point."Carter: "I'm just saying that your software doesn't know how your computer works."
O'Neill: "Hey! My software doesn't make me sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat'!"
Urgo: "Please! Please don't fight. I'm here, what's the difference how? Look, I'm not going to make another noise, not a peep, nothing. I'm going to be quiet like a little tiny mouse, not a peep, watch..." He starts laughing. "I got an idea! Why don't we play a game? Some sort of wonderful game? Something with a dictionary. It's so much fun, you know, you get a word and then you write what you think the word is, oh it's a lot of laughs and educational. It's really nice, I think you'll like it."Urgo, looking at the MALP on the monitor: "Oh, what's that?"
Carter: "Actually, it's our version of you."
Urgo: "But not as suave and sophisticated as moi."Urgo, to O'Neill: "You know, you were just thinking of that island Maui? With the big beaches and the little bikinis? Well, that's where we should go because it's very nice and warm there instead of being here."
Daniel: "You're Togar?"
Togar: "Yes! Togar."
Urgo: "As handsome as he is evil."Urgo: "Oh please, please don't let him do this to me! Teal'c, help! Kree! Jaffa, give him a double jaffa jaffa cake! Go on!"
Urgo: "Count me out, I don't wanna do it. He's mean and boring and, and, and, and...mean."
Daniel: "We're giving you a chance here. Him or death."
Urgo: "No, I..."
O'Neill: "Death or him."
Urgo: "Oh dear."
O'Neill: "Well?"
Urgo: "I'm thinking. He's so...so...."
O'Neill: "Mean?"
Urgo: "Yeah."
O'Neill: "Boring? So change him."
Urgo: "Me change him? Ha ha ha...okay I'll do it."
O'Neill: "Urgo thinks it's a great idea and I'm sure you'll enjoy his presence as much as we have."
Urgo: "See, I knew it! I knew you liked me. Ha, I was right!"
O'Neill: "Maybe...a little."
Urgo: "How 'bout a hug?"
O'Neill: "Don't push it."A Hundred Days
O'Neill: "So, Lara, when's the big show start?"
Lara: "Soon. Be patient."
O'Neill: "Oh, I'm patient. I'm nothing if not patient. When's it start?"
Lara: "Is he always like this?"
Teal'c: "Quite frequently."Daniel: "A falling star. That, ah...that's what we call fire rain where we come from. In our culture, you're supposed to make a wish."
Teal'c: "On Chu'lac, we call it tel pak raed."
Daniel: "Which means, ah, falling star."O'Neill: "Whoa. Carter? How close was that?"
Carter: "Close, Sir."
Daniel: "How big?"
Carter: "Big."
Daniel: "Thought so."Daniel: "You see, the further down these striations we go, the further back into Edora's past we travel. You see, these layers are different. They represent Naquada dust thrown out by impact event."
Garin: "Cool. Ah...J...Jack says that."
Daniel: "Yes, he does. I'm not really sure that, ah, 'cool' applies to this. You see, on our planet something like this happened millions of years ago and nearly wiped out all life."O'Neill: "Well, there're a lot of things we could help you out with. Medicine, technology, education. We'd become friends."
Lara: "We're already friends."
O'Neill: "Closer friends."
Lara: "My mother taught me to be wary of men wishing to become closer friends."
O'Neill: "Well, if you'd like, I'll negotiate this treaty with your mother. That way there'd be no conflict of interest."Fraiser: "You miss him."
Carter: "Yeah."
Fraiser: "Is this a problem?"
Carter: "No. No, of course not."Lara: "Many of us fear the fire rain will come again. Do you?"
O'Neill: "No. If Daniel was right and he always is, it'll be another 150 years before that happens again. That's a long time. I was just kinda wondering which direction home was."
Lara, pointing back to her house: "This way."
O'Neill: "No, I meant...."
Lara: "I know what you meant."Lara: "He is very grateful for all the help you have given him in rebuilding his home."
O'Neill: "I just hammered a few nails. Well, actually, I made the nails first and then I hammered them, but...."
Lara: "Still, you've worked very hard. Thank you."
O'Neill: "Anything I can do."Lara: "Do you remember when I told you there was something you could do for me? I want you to give me a child."
O'Neill: "A child."
Lara: "I wanted to be patient, I wanted to wait until you had let go of the life you left behind, until you knew that you belonged with us. Tonight...I see it in your eyes."
O'Neill: "Lara...you should know a part of me is never going to let go of what I left behind."
Lara: "That's not the part I want."O'Neill, managing to free Teal'c: "Teal'c! You are one stubborn son of a bitch!"
Shades of Grey
Hammond: "Colonel, you don't seem to understand how serious this matter is. You and your team have committed a court-martiable offense."
O'Neill: "To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal'c...well, he really didn't say anything, but I can tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he...cocked his head and raised his eyebrows...."Hammond: "As long as I am in command of the SGC, we will hold ourselves to the highest ethical standard."
O'Neill: "And when the Goa'uld wipe us out because we have nothing with which to defend ourselves, I'm sure we'll all feel great about ourselves and our high moral standard!"O'Neill, to Dr. Fraiser after she's conducted her tests: "Let me know what wacky alien stuff you find in there."
Carter: "Is there anything I can do?"
O'Neill: "About...?"
Carter: "Well, Sir, with respect, you aren't exactly acting like yourself."
O'Neill: "No, Carter, I haven't been acting like myself since I met you. Now I'm acting like myself."O'Neill, to the Tollans: "Well, look who's here. Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff? You know, it would be a lot more superior if it wasn't so easy to steal!"
Daniel: "So...how you feeling about all this?"
O'Neill: "Yes to the beer. No to the feelings."
Daniel: "That's, ah, that's too bad because I don't really like beer."
O'Neill: "Stop your worryin'. I'm fine."
Daniel: "Really? That's, ah, that's funny because I didn't...I didn't figure you for the early retirement type anymore. There's another reason you're angry, isn't there?"
O'Neill: "Oh, here we go. Pop psych 101, right?"
Daniel: "No. When we were in the briefing, you said something about the Pentagon not giving us the backup we requested. What, ah, what were you talking about?"
O'Neill: "Hammond and I were planning a secondary SGC base off-world. It was going to serve as a backup in case ours was attacked. I was going to command."
Daniel: "And the Pentagon pulled the plug. So you're acting out because you're hurt because you didn't get a command."
O'Neill: "Gimme a break, Daniel. Their denial of the program was just another indication that they're not serious about attaining our goals."
Daniel: "Which you think is attaining the weapons and technology."
O'Neill: "Protecting ourselves."
Daniel: "But isn't our mission also about establishing and maintaining diplomatic relations with other cultures?"
O'Neill: "What's the point if we don't gain anything to help our other interests?"
Daniel: "Well, there's a lot we could learn from people like the Tollan that has nothing to do with technology and weapons."
O'Neill: "Stuff that interests people like you, Daniel, not people like me. I want to see tangible gains from our efforts and if people like the Tollan don't want to share, we should just take."
Daniel: "You really believe that."
O'Neill: "Being sweet and nice is going to stop three or four Goa'uld mother ships if they decide to come back again. I'd rather be a thief and alive than honest and dead. I know it's a cliché, but there it is."
Daniel: "If you really believe that, I guess, ah, I guess I never really knew you at all."
O'Neill: "Come on. You're a bright guy. You had to sense some of this." Daniel doesn't answer. "Then no, I guess you couldn't relate to me any more than I could to you."
Daniel: "So this whole, ah, this whole friendship thing we've been working on the last few years...?"
O'Neill: "Apparently not much of a foundation there, huh?" Daniel watches him a moment, then leaves.O'Neill: "What took you so long?"
Mayborne: "Frankly, I didn't think you'd get bored quite so fast or I would've stayed in town."
O'Neill: "Not quite the student of human behavior you thought you were?"Mayborne: "I want you to understand that once you see what I'm about to show you, there is no turning back. You will have the choice to go along with it or disappear."
O'Neill: "Disappear."
Mayborne: "This is your last chance to back out."
O'Neill: "Well, if you promise to cut back on the melodrama, I'll consider crossin' the line."Hammond: "How's retirement going?"
O'Neill: "Ah, great. I retire, I wake up, I retire...it's a living. I'm bored out of my skull, Sir."Mayborne: "Oh, and Colonel, just a reminder. This isn't the SGC so if someone gets in your way, do what you have to do."
Makepeace: "You have no idea how high up this goes. You've pissed off the wrong people."
O'Neill: "Like the Tollan, Tok'ra, Asgard, Nox, those folks?"
Makepeace: "They refuse to give us the things we need to defend ourselves against the Goa'uld."
O'Neill: "We don't need their stuff, Makepeace. We do need them."O'Neill, motioning to Daniel that they need to talk. "Um, Daniel...?"
Daniel: "Mmm."
O'Neill: "That stuff I was talkin' about at my house? Um, the place was bugged, I had to keep up the act."
Daniel: "I...I...I understand."
O'Neill: "Obviously the whole friendship thing, the foundation, it's all solid...."
Daniel: "Obviously. You don't...you don't...."
O'Neill: "I feel kind of.... I do appreciate that you were the one to come and see if I was okay. That...that means something."
Daniel: "Ah...actually, no, it doesn't."
O'Neill: "No?"
Daniel: "Um...we, ah, we drew straws. I lost."New Ground
Nyan, about the approaching ships: "They are my people, the Medrosians."
O'Neill: "Good guys?"
Nyan: "Good is not the first word I would use to describe the ones who approach."O'Neill: "Would you believe we come in peace?" No one answers. "Got a commanding officer around here?" Still no one answers. "Wow, tough crowd."
O'Neill: "Okay, that's a needle. OWW."
Reigar: "This type of psychological warfare, simulating the Optracan Gateway fallacy to undermine our most basic beliefs, will not work."
O'Neill: "Yeah, I know that could be hard to believe. So why don't you let us show you how the Stargate works and if you're still not convinced, we'll just...take our stuff and go. Fair enough?"Reigar: "I am sure because we have not spent our lives praying to a god who does not exist and many of our people have not lost their lives fighting a meaningless war. I won't accept that. I have studied the book of Nefertem word for word. Cover to cover. It is the truth."
O'Neill, kicking the wall of his cage and receiving a nasty shock: "Ow! Hey! That hurts."
Daniel: "Well, this day just keeps getting better and better."Reigar: "Let us talk about your friend in the woods."
O'Neill: "I have no friends. In the woods or otherwise."Carter: "The Stargate isn't made of regular stone. If given enough power, a wormhole forms within the circle and that allows us to travel to other worlds."
Reigar: "Wormhole?"
O'Neill: "Giant worms. Huge."Nyan: "You are the most important thing that has ever happened to my planet, although I have not yet decided if it is a good thing or bad."
Teal'c: "What do your people intend to do with my friends?"
Nyan: "They are evidence that everything my people believe in is wrong and everything the enemy believes is right. And that is not an easy thing for military minds to digest."Nyan: "You are proof that my theories have been all wrong."
Teal'c: "Then perhaps you would be better off if I were no longer alive."
Nyan: "Teal'c, I am a scientist. When I find evidence that my theories are wrong, it is as exciting as if they were correct. Scientific advance in either direction is still an advance."
Teal'c: "You sound like Daniel Jackson."O'Neill: "Hey, Reigar? You know that 'we come in peace' business? Bite me."
Maternal Instinct
O'Neill, upon learning that Apophis is still alive and attacked Chu'lac: "Son of a bitch!"
Teal'c: "Apophis must have transported off of Sokar's ship before it exploded."
O'Neill: "Well somebody's got to teach that guy how to die."Carter: "This is really weird. These bodies are burnt to a crisp and yet nothing around them has even been touched. It's almost as if lightning struck them."
O'Neill: "Or some kind of...."
Teal'c: "I have never before seen a weapon that could do such a thing."
O'Neill: "...weapon."O'Neill, passing through the gates of the monastery: "Well, someone's been reading Martha Stewart."
Bra'tac: "I believe he wishes us to take off our boots."
O'Neill: "Yeah, look, ah, we've been walking a ways today...."
Monk: "Your journey has just begun."
O'Neill: "I'm just sayin' I think I'm doing us all a great favor by keeping these babies on."O'Neill: "You know me, I'm a huge fan of subtlety, but that's downright cryptic."
Daniel: "Jack, he's speaking in the Zen cones. Whatever theology he follows may be an original basis for Buddhism on Earth."
O'Neill: "Well, that's very nice. I'll be sure to call the Dhali Lama when I get back home."Daniel: "I think this is going to take awhile."
O'Neill: "Really? What gives you that idea?"Daniel: "So...I don't, ah, I don't have to die, right?"
Daniel, talking really, really fast: "Jack. The markings on the wall are a language. It's a Bible. Ah, no, actually it's more of an instruction book on how to reach this ethereal plane of existence, some kind of other world. It's only natural the Jaffa who found this place would've interpreted it as a passage to the after life."
O'Neill: "Whoa, slow down there, Grasshopper."Daniel: "The monk has just sort of taken up some kind of curatorship."
O'Neill: "Kind of a janitor?"
Daniel: "More of a guide."
O'Neill: "An usher."
Daniel: "It doesn't matter."O'Neill: "We didn't come here to learn parlor tricks."
Daniel: "Jack...."
O'Neill: "Is the boy here or not?"
Daniel: "I think so...."
O'Neill: "Because every minute we stay here, we're risking our necks."
Daniel: "I know that...."
O'Neill: "So please understand I'm on the verge of ordering a complete search of this place, with or without his cooperation."
Daniel: "You can't do that...."
O'Neill: "You're confused, Daniel, I can. So far I haven't."
Daniel: "I am gaining his trust...."
O'Neill: "And how long is something like that going to take?"
Daniel: "Jack, you don't understand...."
O'Neill: "I think I do."O'Neill: "I don't think I know as much as you think I know."
O'Neill: "Daniel, that was a glider. We're out of time."
Monk: "Time means nothing to the...."
O'Neill: "Ah! Ah! Don't say it."O'Neill: "If we happen to make it out of this in one piece, remind me to harm Daniel severely."
Daniel: "Drop your weapons!"
O'Neill: "You heard him!"
Daniel: "I was talking to you, Jack."Daniel, to all the Jaffa: "Bye."
O'Neill: "You alright?"
Daniel: "Yeah."
O'Neill: "Let's go home." They start to leave. "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Yeah?"
O'Neill: "Shoes."Crystal Skull
Daniel: "Definitely Mayan. This is a major find...I have to see this."
O'Neill: "Any signs of life there?"
Carter: "There is a breathable atmosphere, Sir, but no complex life signs." They watch the monitor, and some words appear at the bottom of the playback. "This is a major find, I have to see this."
O'Neill: "You too?"
Carter: "Well, look at these readings, Sir. These are leptons."
O'Neill: "Get out."
Carter: "Well, that means something inside this pyramid is slowing down neutrinos. Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you."
O'Neill: "No matter how dense."Hammond: "I'll authorize a standard recon mission."
Fraiser: "Colonel, I can only guess at the effect this type of radiation may have on the human body. I recommend limited exposure--ten, fifteen minutes at most."
Daniel: "Wait a minute, that's...that's not enough time. I mean, there has to be some sort of radiation suit or...."
O'Neill: "Hey, if you'd been listening you'd know that Nintendos pass through everything."
Daniel: "I heard."O'Neill, about the huge cavern inside the pyramid: "Can you imagine heating this place?"
O'Neill: "Doc!"
Fraiser: "You can protest all you want, Colonel, but it'll be awhile before you get your strength back so relax."
O'Neill: "Oh, come on...."
Fraiser: "Ah! Doctor's orders."
O'Neill, after she's left: "Napoleonic power monger."O'Neill: "Look, I'm sick of layin' around. Help me up."
Teal'c: "Dr. Fraiser believes you are not strong enough to undertake such a mission."
O'Neill, sitting up: "Yeah, whatever." He falls flat on the floor.
Teal'c: "Dr. Fraiser is usually correct in such matters." He picks O'Neill up and tosses him--rather roughly--onto his face on the bed.
O'Neill, face muffled by the bed: "Thank you."
Teal'c: "You are welcome, O'Neill."Teal'c: "We believe it to be a teleportation device."
Rothman: "Are you serious?"
Daniel: "That's good, Robert, be skeptical."
Hammond: "We were hoping your archaeological expertise would help provide insight into where he may have been sent."
Rothman, putting in nose drops: "It's a skull!"
Daniel: "Not that skeptical."Rothman: "Teleportation device? I...what do you think?"
Siler: "I think you're going to get fired."Fraiser: "I've already taken the liberty of looking him up."
Daniel: "Oh, you didn't."
Fraiser: "His current address is a psychiatric institution in Oregon."
O'Neill: "Psychiatric?"
Fraiser: "Apparently, his failure to prove the crystal skull was more than just a curiosity caused a severe mental breakdown from which he's never been able to fully recover. Nick checked himself in."
Carter: "Why wouldn't Daniel have told us that?"
Daniel: "Oh, yes, by the way, he's insane."
Fraiser: "Daniel was a regular visitor there up until four years ago, right before he joined the Stargate program."
Daniel: "Oh, please, he kicked me out, we had a huge fight."
Fraiser: "Apparently Nick still talks about him all the time."
Daniel: "He wants nothing to do with me."
Fraiser: "The doctor I spoke to says any friends of Dr. Jackson's are welcome."
Daniel: "What?"Nick: "Daniel followed in my footsteps."
O'Neill: "You must be very proud."
Nick: "He made a fool of himself."
Daniel: "Oh, yeah, here we go."
Nick: "He staked his entire academic career on this belief that the great pyramids of Egypt were made by aliens."
O'Neill: "Yes, well, that's...."
Nick: "He was more insane than I was. I told him so. I told him to forget all that nonsense."
Daniel: "Ah, wasn't nonsense, I was right."
Nick: "He lost his apartment, his research grant, he hasn't published a paper in two years. Now where is he? Where is he now?"
Carter: "Well, in a way, that's what this is all about. We wanted to hear exactly what happened to you back in '71 when you first found that skull."
Nick: "Nothing happened. There were no aliens."
Daniel: "Trust them, Nick."
Nick: "No one believed me."
O'Neill: "Daniel believed you."
Daniel: "Oh, no, no no, no don't. Don't."
Nick: "He didn't. He wanted to. He did listen. In the end, he did not believe in my theories of the skull just as I did not believe his theories of the pyramids and the aliens."
Daniel: "I guess we both were right."Hammond: "Colonel, there is no greater secret in this nation than the Stargate."
O'Neill: "So we keep him away from Level 28."
Hammond: "A civilian? Who spent the last twenty years of his life in a psychiatric institution?"
O'Neill: "Exactly! Who's going to believe him if he says anything?"
Hammond: "Colonel, you walk a fine line."
O'Neill: "Thank you, Sir."Carter: "Do you get the feeling that Daniel's still around?"
Daniel: "We have to go back there."
O'Neill: "Kinda."
Carter: "I guess it's 'cause we miss him."
Daniel: "And we have to talk to those giant aliens."
O'Neill: "Or...radiation sickness."
Carter: "Goodnight, Sir."
Daniel: "What? That's it? Whatever happened to working through the night? I do it for you."Nick: "I am sorry."
Daniel: "For what?"
Nick: "For not adopting you when your parents died."
Daniel: "You were traveling all over the world."
Nick: "It wasn't your fault."
Daniel: "I was eight years old, how could it be my fault?"
Nick: "I am sorry for allowing my obsession to drive me to madness." He turns and looks directly at Daniel. "Will you forgive me?"
Daniel: "You can see me?"
Nick: "Yes, Daniel, I can see you."
Daniel: "Why didn't you say something?!"
Nick: "You're not real so it doesn't mean anything."
Daniel: "No no no no no, Nick, Nick, I'm real. I'm real. You're not hallucinating."
Nick: "Hallucinations always say that."
Daniel: "Not this time, Nick. The skull, the skull did this to me. I'm, I'm trapped, I'm in another dimension, I'm out of phase, something. Look, all I know is I need your help. If you don't help me, I don't know how I'm going to get home."Nick: "Daniel is here."
Hammond: "Here?"
Daniel: "Repeat what I'm saying. I'm standing right beside you."
Nick: "Standing right beside me."
O'Neill: "He's lost a few pounds."
Daniel: "Jack, don't be an ass."
Nick: "Jack, don't be an ass."
O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Yes!"Nick: "Now we must wait for the giant aliens."
O'Neill: "That just has a nice ring to it."Nemesis
O'Neill: "Hey."
Daniel: "Hey."
O'Neill: "How're you doin'?"
Daniel: "Good. Did you get your hair cut?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. Why?"
Daniel: "No reason."
O'Neill: "Can I see your scar?"
Daniel: "No."Carter: "I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of Naquada within the reactor. It's really quite amazing that, unlike plutonium, Naquada actually has a...."
O'Neill: "Ah ah ah! I'm on vacation."Carter: "So, Sir, are you saying these bugs are technological?"
O'Neill, about the techno bugs: "Apparently they plan to land the ship and infest Earth. Thor says this would not be a good thing."O'Neill, about the technical specifications on the recordings: "Yeah, my eyes glossed over right about there."
O'Neill: "Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me with all this advanced intergalactic technology, this ship can't withstand a little heat?"
Thor: "In order to reflect the sub-phase field of the phase generator...."
O'Neill: "So...no."
Thor: "Yes."O'Neill: "Say something."
Teal'c, in a space suit: "One small step for Jaffa."
O'Neill: "Very nice."Daniel: "Sir, I know there's no reason for me to be here, but I just...I feel like I should be here. That's not totally true, I feel like actually I should be up there with them."
Hammond: "Now you know how I feel most of the time."Teal'c: "Thor was correct. We are going to die."
O'Neill: "Oh, c'mon, Teal'c, lighten up. We've been in these situations before."
Carter: "No, Sir, we haven't."
O'Neill: "We haven't?"O'Neill: "Where we goin'?"
Teal'c: "P3X 234."
O'Neill: "Thank you, it's nice there this time of year."
Season 2 Quotes - Part 1
("The Serpent's Lair" through "Touchstone")Season 2 Quotes - Part 2
("A Matter of Time" through "Out of Mind")Season 3 Quotes - Part 1
("Into the Fire" through "The Devil You Know")
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