There are additional quotes on each of the episode reviews.
Into the Fire
Davis: "SG-1 is a valuable asset, but they're still just one team."
Hammond: "Major, you've got a lot to learn about how we do things around here."Hathor: "We ask you once more. Which one of you shall be host to our new friend?"
O'Neill, to Carter about Snappy the Goa'uld: "He has her eyes."Hathor, waving the Goa'uld in Daniel's face: "Shall it be our beloved? We could spend an eternity together. Do you not remember? The joys that we will share in one another's arms?"
Daniel: "I really try not to."Hathor, now holding the Goa'uld to in front of O'Neill: "It seems our friend has chosen."
O'Neill, to the Goa'uld about his hair: "What, the gray doesn't bother you?"Hathor: "We are not pleased."
O'Neill: "Neither are we."
Hathor: "Once host to the Goa'uld, you will take the lives of your friends."
O'Neill: "We don't think so."
Hathor: "You will have no say in that. You will witness their deaths through your own eyes. Helplessly. It may take some time for the Goa'uld to take control but we will greatly enjoy experiencing your eventual defeat."Makepeace, taking his first look at Hathor's SGC replica: "Yeah, there's no place like home."
Hathor, to Raleigh: "Jaffa, kree!"
Raleigh: "Kell na shrie Jaffa. I am of the Tok'ra. If the Tauri do not destroy you, you know this: We will."Makepeace: "How's the leg? Can you walk?"
Daniel, very sarcastically: "Oh, it's just a deep, bleeding gash but it'll be fine."Teal'c: "We are their strength, we are their power, until we choose to serve them no more. I was witness to the final breath of Apophis. I watched him tremble with fear at what lay beyond. I believed that day would be honored for all time on Chu'lak. But instead I see Jaffa taking up arms against one another. I see cowardice, and I am ashamed. This is our time. It will not come again. But first we must grow stronger as the people of the Tauri have done. I call for warriors to join me through the Chaapa'ai to gather weapons, to forge alliance with other Jaffa who seek freedom, to show the Goa'uld we wil do battle with them whereever they might be. Who will join me?"
Hathor, to O'Neill: "We will destroy you for this!"
O'Neil: "And we would just like you to go away!"O'Neill: "Carter!"
Carter: "Sir."
O'Neill: "Oh, god." He hugs her. "Hathor's...gone."
Carter: "What about you?"
O'Neill: "Cold. I'm a little chilly. But I'm me. I'm me."Teal'c: "There is an old Jaffa saying, General Hammond. They do not build them as they once did."
O'Neill: "Jaffa, kree!"
Trofsky: "Kel ma Goa'uld? Kritock."
O'Neill: "You heard me, I said kree!"
Daniel: "Jack?"
O'Neill: "Hey, guys. Makepeace, nice rescue. Good job."
Trofsky: "Silence!"
O'Neill: "Alright, listen up. There's something you should know before you start shootin' and killin' and ruinin' what could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Our beloved Hathor is dead."
Trofsky: "What you say is impossible. Hathor is a queen. More than that, she is a goddess!"
O'Neill: "Yeah, okay, ex-goddes, maybe. I killed her myself. You should trust me on this. She's gone. She is no more, she is...well, let's face it, she's a former queen."
Trofsky: "We will put an end to this with your surrender."Hammond: "YEEE-HAWWW!!!!"
Seth
Jacob: "So, you guys are the talk of the Tok'ra water cooler."
O'Neill: "For what?"
Jacob: "For kicking some major Hathor behind."
O'Neill: "Yes, we do take pride in good work."O'Neill: "Alright, let me cut to the chase on this one. You want us to help you find this snake head who, if he's here at all, would be hiding within one of 6 billion people on Earth?"
Jacob: "Yes."
O'Neill: "Oh."O'Neill, about trying to find Seth amongst Earth's people: "Kinda gives 'needle in a haystack' a whole new meaning."
Carter: "So Dad, you really don't think we have a chance of finding this Goa'uld, do you?"
Jacob: "It was the mission Garshaw assigned me."
Carter: "You didn't request it? Dad?"
Jacob: "Why would I request it?"
Carter: "Come on, would it be so awful to admit that you just wanted a chance to see me?"
Jacob: "Of course not, you're right. That's why I requested it."
Carter: "Okay, so that's obviously not the reason.Daniel: "I did a timeline-boulean search for religion, cult, Set, Setesh, Setek, Set..."
O'Neill: "Yadda."Teal'c: "Because the creature represents Setesh, the helms of the Setesh guard have continued to be the source of many jokes among the Jaffa."
O'Neill: "Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them."
Teal'c: "I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips." Teal'c bursts into laughter...but nobody else laughs. Poor Teal'c.O'Neill: "AK-47s, a couple of UZIs, anyone think they observe the requisite 15-day waiting period for those weapons?"
Carter: "Sir, their sidearms." They're zat guns. "I think it's safe to say there's a Goa'uld there. And...that looks like a pair of 50 cals."
O'Neill: "Does the concept of overkill mean anything to anybody?"O'Neill: "I was wondering when you folks were going to show. We got bets. I say FBI, they say ATF."
Hamner: "Special Agent James Hamner, ATF."
O'Neill: "Damn."Hamner: "You have a rather insubordinate subordinate, General."
Jacob: "He's not insubordinate to me, only to people such as yourself. Saves me the trouble."O'Neill: "Somethin' I can do for you?"
Hamner: "You want to tell me what's going on?"
O'Neill: "Didn't you say you knew more than I do?"
Hamner: "Apparently not. I just got off the phone with the President."
O'Neill: "Of the United States of America? Sweet! How's he doing?"
Hamner: "He seems to have a thing for you."
O'Neill: "Yeah, well, you know..."
Hamner: "In fact, I am to issue you an emergency special agent credential. He's put you in charge of this operation."
O'Neill: "Excellent. My first order of business--get me one of those cool jackets. Extra large. Double XL if you've got it."Daniel: "The men outside the main court were used mainly as warriors and guards protecting the compound, pretty much doing his bidding."
O'Neill: "Dare I ask about the men inside the compound?"
Daniel: "They were turned into eunuchs."
O'Neill: "Eunuchs as in snippedy-doo-dah? Sweet."O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "What?"
O'Neill: "Now what?"
Daniel: "Why are you asking me?"Seth: "Welcome. Who are you?"
O'Neill: "Well I'm Larry, this is Moe" (he points to Carter, then finally to Daniel), "and of course, everybody's favorite, Curly."O'Neill: "So help me if I wake up and I'm singing soprano...."
Daniel, to Carter about Seth: "You killed him."
O'Neill: "Hail Dorothy."Fair Game
Thor: "You may return to your planet now." Thor disappears.
O'Neill: "Ex...cuse me? I assume someone's going to show me the way back?" A light appears around him. "Thank you!"Hammond: "The President is wondering how confident we are in trusting the Asgard."
Carter: "The Tok'ra trust them."
Daniel: "They helped Jack out when he got the Ancient's language downloaded into his brain."
O'Neill: "You gotta love them for that."Daniel: "The second Goa'uld representative we're expecting is Yu."
O'Neill: "Me?"
Daniel: "Yu is the name of the Goa'uld."
O'Neill: "Ah! Sorry."Hammond: "Colonel. How are the briefings going?"
O'Neill: "I had no idea how exciting diplomacy could be, Sir."Daniel: "Here we are, the VIP room. That's an acronym. It means very important. I hope this is okay."
Cronus: "Your idea of accomodation is pitiful."Daniel: "Excuse me, sorry for interrupting. What just happened?"
O'Neill: "Well, apparently we said hello, insulted each other, and broke for recess."O'Neill: "Fate of the world in my hands and I screw it up."
O'Neill, about Daniel: "That boy can really grovel if he has to."
Cronus: "The treaty recognizes that the human species exists for the purpose of serving the Goa'uld as hosts and slaves."
O'Neill, laughing incredulously: "Excuse me?!"O'Neill: "Oh, come on, give me something! Anything! I won't hold you to it, little head nod if there's another way around this!"
Thor: "It is your planet at stake. I believe you have it within you to make the right decision."
O'Neill: "Alright, send me back." Thor kinda sorta nods. "Wait! Ah! Right htere, is that a head nod? A nod is usually down then back up. Your head went down...." The light surrounds him. "Wait! I'm..." He disappears.Thor: "I have been instructed by the Asgard high council to leave Earth's orbit."
O'Neill: "And, what, that's in line with Asgard policy of limited benevolence?"Thor: "I have explained our position. To borrow from a human euphemism, it is not a perfect galaxy."
O'Neill: "I'm sorry, I get a little testy when faced with the total annihilation of our little corner of it."Teal'c: "I did not attack Cronus."
Daniel:" Well, we believe you, Teal'c. I just don't think anyone else is going to."
O'Neill: "Certaintly not those lying, scheming, no good for nothing slimy overdressed..."
Carter: "Sir!"
O'Neill: "...style mongers."
Carter: "I'd like to try something."
O'Neill: "I wasn't finished."Cronus: "You have healed me, human. I am sure you spared my life only to prevent your own destruction."
O'Neill: "Hey! We didn't do this to you. And we saved your snaky little butt because we want the treaty to happen."Carter: "Drop the weapon. You ever seen one of these things work? 'Cause there's nothing more I'd like to do right now than demonstrate."
Cronus: "We will not attack your world. But, if you continue to use your Stargate, be warned. Anyone who is caught by one of the System Lords will be shown no mercy. They will suffer greatly."
O'Neill: "Well that certainly makes life more...interesting."Daniel: "Boy, is she gonna git it."
O'Neill: "My heart bleeds."Legacy
O'Neill, as Daniel wakes up in the infirmary: "Hellooo..."
Daniel: "Hello."
O'Neill: "What happened?"
Daniel: "Do you believe in ghosts?"
O'Neill: "Ah...no."
Daniel: "Well, neither do I, which means there has to be a logical explanation."
O'Neill: "For what?"
Daniel: "When we were in the Linveress chamber I felt something brush by me. And I've heard voices. And I keep seeing the dead Goa'uld from the massacre."
O'Neill: "Where?"
Daniel: "Well, last night they were in my closet in, like, a Stargate event horizon without the gate."
O'Neill: "In your closet."
Daniel: "Yes. I don't think they're really dead."
O'Neill: "Who? The stiffs in the morgue?"
Daniel: "No, the nine Goa'uld that were using them as hosts. I translated a phrase on that tablet that I thought meant 'attack' but when I refined the translation I realized it means 'to enter by infiltration.'"
O'Neill: "And you think that's what they're doing?"
Daniel: "Yes."
O'Neill: "Through your closet."
Daniel: "Teal'c said the Linveress were being hunted by the system lords, right? Now what if they used some kind of technology to turn their bodies into...I don't know, energy. Or something."
O'Neill: "Energy."
Daniel: "Or something. I don't know exactly how, Sam can figure that part out, the point is, they're here. They've entered by infiltration and now they want me as a host."
O'Neill: "All nine of them."
Daniel: "That sounds crazy, huh?"
O'Neill: "Mmm...yeah. You gotta admit there are some holes in your theory here."
Daniel: "Well it's a theory, not a proof."
O'Neill: "Why are you the only one who can see them? Why didn't they come through my closet...aside from the fact that yours is cleaner?"
Daniel: "I don't know. The only other theory I can come up with is that I'm having some sort of...nervous breakdown."
O'Neill: "Or something."
Daniel: "Or something, yeah."O'Neill: "Dr. Mackenzie."
Mackenzie: "Colonel."
O'Neill: "I'm not going to enjoy this, am I?"O'Neill: "Alright, let's say for the sake of argument that it is the Stargate, a theory to which I do not ascribe. Then why don't we just put a little sign at the base of the ramp that says, "Gate travel may be hazardous to your health." I can live with that."
O'Neill: "I have a very calming effect on stressed-out people. How 'bout a game of gin?"
Daniel: 'I'm not very good at gin."
O'Neill: "Good! Get the cards."Daniel: "I'm sorry."
O'Neill: "For what?"
Daniel, laughing sadly: "For being such a head case."Carter: "God, I hate seeing him like that."
O'Neill: "Nothing like losing your mind and knowing it's happening."Daniel: "Why are you so quick to jump to the conclusion I'm crazy? That I'm dangerous, that I'm out of control?... Just 'cause I'm kinda acting that way, aren't I?"
O'Neill: "Why didn't I get sick when we were playing cards the other night and you were jumping all over me?"
Daniel: "Because last I heard you didn't have a Goa'uld larva."O'Neill: "I'd like to apologize in advance for anything I may say or do that could be construed as offensive as I slowly go NUTS!!!"
Fraiser: "Likewise, Colonel."O'Neill: "You look terrible."
Carter: "Thank you."Learning Curve
Kalan: "Colonel O'Neill, you are most punctual. Both Merrin and I are eager to participate in this exchange between our worlds."
O'Neill: "Major Carter is eager as well. She's really looking forward to it. So is Teal'c."
Teal'c, not sounding particularly eager: "I will share my knowledge of the Goa'uld freely."
O'Neill: "Teal'c's eager on the inside."O'Neill: "Kalan, I was under the impression that we were bringing back one of your Naquada reactors."
Kalan, pointing to a box Merrin is holding: "This is the device."
O'Neill: "That little thing? Okay. Daniel, have fun. I know you will. Teal'c, make friends as always. Folks, to Earth."O'Neill: "So Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert."
Merrin: "Yes."
O'Neill: "How old are you?"
Merrin: "I am eleven. How old are you?"
O'Neill: "So...Merrin, I understand you're a reactor expert."Carter: "School is a place where you go to learn. A teacher gives you information and you take different classes to learn different subjects."
Merrin: "So this is how you and Dr. Fraiser became scientists?" Carter nods, and Merrin turns next to O'Neill: "You aren't a scientist?"
O'Neill: "Oh...no."
Merrin: "Then you are not as smart as Major Carter and Dr. Fraiser."
O'Neill: "Well, it depends on what you mean by.... Okay, no, I'm not. But while they were stuck in school, I was out doing other things. Like...having fun. You do know what fun is, don't you?" Merrin shakes her head. "Okay, fun is what you do to make yourself happy. Like...music, games. It's whatever you do when you're not learning to be a rocket scientist."
Merrin: "I am here to teach Major Carter about the Naquada reactor."
Carter, beaming: "Sounds like fun to me."
O'Neill: "Whatever. Yeah, go ahead. Knock yourself out."O'Neill, to Merrin who's climbing on chairs, reaching into cabinets in the lab: "Merrin, what are you doing? Get down."
Merrin: "Colonel O'Neill, I need fifteen sheets of paper exactly 43 centimeters by 28 centimeters."
O'Neill: "Well, that's fine. Why don't you just ask...?" He sees that Carter is sound asleep, her head on the table. "Excuse me." He bends down by her. "Major CARTER!"O'Neill: "Will you two give it a rest? Both of you. You've been at this for 24 hours. You need rest."
Merrin: "I do not need to. Uroan children require little sleep."
Carter: "Okay, now I am jealous."Hammond: "In the future, Major, before you activate any device that includes the word 'reactor,' I'd appreciate it if you would notify me."
Kid: "Colonel Jack! What are you doing here?"
O'Neill: "Playing hooky."O'Neill, seeing one of the art student's paintings of him: "I look fat."
O'Neill, looking at her picture: "Nice. Who's that?" He points to a stick figure.
Merrin: "It's a representation of Major Carter."
O'Neill: "Of course it is."
Merrin: "Is it right?"
O'Neill: "Oh, yeah. It's way more than right."Point of View
Man's voice: "Stargate. What do you know about the Stargate?"
Samantha: "What do I know?! Everything! We've been through this!"
Man's voice: "Well, let's go through it again."
Samantha: "Oh for crying out loud...."Carter, after watching her alternate on video: "Oh my god, this is too weird."
O'Neill: "How 'bout that hair?"Samantha, on the video: "Look, I know this is hard for you to understand, but according to quantum theory, for every possible universe there are an infinite number of variations diverging in every choice we make like forks in the road."
Man's voice: "Uh-huh."
Carter: "She's right."
O'Neill: "You just agreed with yourself."O'Neill: "Alright, so it's possible there's an alternate version of my self out there that actually understands what the hell you're talking about?"
Samantha, seeing Carter: "Nice...hair."
Carter: "Ah, Air Force."
Samantha: "I can't imagine that, going military."
Carter: "Wow, I can't imagine not."Samantha: "You think your being in the Air Force could've made that big a difference?"
Carter: "No! I just said it made a contribution."
Samantha: "And, therefore, I didn't."
O'Neill: "Ladies! Sams! We're all in this reality together."Samantha: "We just left behind everyone we know, everything we ever cared about. If you're not going to give us a second chance...I don't know any of you."
O'Neill: "Exactly. You don't know any of us. And we don't know you. For all we know, you cold be her evil twin. But...then we'd be dealing with cliches and you know how I feel about those..." He points to Carter, "No actually, you know how I feel about those."Hammond: "They can stay."
O'Neill: "That was quick."
Hammond: "Too quick. God knows what we're getting into."
O'Neill: "Well, the combined IQ of Earth might go up a few points having two Carters around."Carter: "You know, I had a hard time trying to figure out how to make this work the first time, let alone make it work again."
Samantha: "If it's powered by the energy module of the staff weapon, why doesn't it...."
Both Carters: "Blow up?"
Carter: "My best guess is that the device creates a modulated dampening field around the liquefied Naquada...."
Samantha: "...which controls the energy transfer to the capacitors."
Carter: "So maybe the modulation is thrown out of whack...."
Samantha: "...each time it's activated."
Carter: "That's exactly what I thought. But how do you even begin to recalibrate a field that you can't generate in the first place?"
O'Neill: "Alright, hey, hey, hey! Are you Carters going to be able to figure this out?"
Both Carters: "We'll figure it out."Teal'c: "I am not fond of wearing this uniform again."
Kawalsky: "Yeah, well, I'm not to fond of seeing you wear it."Samantha: "We made a good team, Major."
Carter: "Yeah, we did, Doctor."
Samantha: "Plus your hair's kinda grown on me. Pardon the pun."O'Neill: "Alright, I gotta know."
Daniel, thinking he's talking about the mirror: "Yes, I'm about to activate it."
O'Neill: "No, no, not that. What the hell does kree mean?"
Daniel: "Well, actually, it means a lot of things. Ah, loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate."
O'Neill: "Yoo hoo?"
Daniel: "Yes, in a manner of speaking."Kawalsky: "Carters are pretty smart figuring that thing out, huh? So you and Sam, you never had a thing in your world, huh?"
O'Neill: "Sam is a Major in my world."
Kawalsky: "Yeah, I know, it's against regulations, right? You two look pretty good together, let me tell ya."
O'Neill: "Kawalsky, during your special ops training in your world, did they cover silence?"Daniel, seeing the Goa'uld ship hovering over the mountain on a monitor: "Déjà vu."
Apophis: "Who are you? My First Prime killed you before my very eyes."
O'Neill: "I'm feeling much better, thank you."Samantha: "You have to understand, my Jack had the same face, same voice, same hands...."
O'Neill: "Which brings to mind an obvious question. How could you marry such a loser?"Deadman Switch
Arris: "Well, I know you. Captain Samantha Carter. Dr. Daniel Jackson. The Jaffa traitor Teal'c, and Colonel Jack O'Neill."
O'Neill: "Well, fancy that. We're famous."Arris: "You were thinking of a personal Goa'uld shield for Goa'uld use, one which allows slower-moving objects to pass through. Wouldn't make a very effective trap now, would they?"
O'Neill: "Can't blame a girl for trying."
Arris: "Are you kidding? That's exactly what I'd expect from you."Daniel, to Arris who's taken them prisoner: "I don't suppose we could talk about this."
Carter: "Sir, he's not Goa'uld."
O'Neill: "And? But? So? Therefore?"O'Neill: "Teal'c? How fast will this unit fly?"
Teal'c: "I believe it is capable of traveling at the speed of light."
O'Neill: "Nice. Home for dinner."
Carter: "Sir, if you're thinking of stealing the ship and flying it back to Earth, I mean, even at 372,000 miles per second it would still take us at least ten years to get that far."
O'Neill: "Be sure to let the dog out."Arris: "Dr. Jackson, if you don't mind, treating my wound."
Daniel: "I'm an archaeologist."
Arris: "I know, but you're also a doctor."
Daniel: "...of archaeology."
Arris: "Never mind. Captain! You must have some medical training."
Carter: "Actually, I'm a Major now."
Arris: "Oh, well, how important. I'll inform the galaxy. Can you get over here now and help me, Major?"Daniel: "Which Goa'uld are you hunting?"
Arris: "Ah, his name is Keltar."
Daniel: "I haven't heard of him before."
Arris: "Well, contrary to popular human belief, the Earth is not the center of the galaxy."O'Neill: "So you work for Sokar?"
Arris: "No."
O'Neill: "Self employed, then. Independent contractor. Rogue warrior?"Carter: "How do you keep from getting killed?"
Arris: "It takes talents."
O'Neill: "So...how do you keep from getting killed?"Daniel: "So, ah, what do you expect to get for us?"
O'Neill: "Daniel...."
Daniel: "Just...curious."
Arris: "Well, ah, Teal'c is worth the most. The system lords would love to make a good example of him. And Carter here, well, she has the memories of the Tok'ra Jolinar. And you, O'Neill, you're considered, well, you're a pain in the mikta."
O'Neill: "Neck?"
Teal'c: "No."
Daniel: "What about...what about me?"
Arris: "You? Probably happy to get a day's rations for you."
Daniel: "Oh. A day's rations."
O'Neill: "Trade you."Daniel: "And how do we know we can trust you?"
Arris: "My word is good on over 2,000 planets."
O'Neill: "There are billions."
Teal'c: "It would appear we have no choice."
Arris: "Yes. Choiceless. I mean, guys, come on! What's the big deal? It's a Goa'uld. I hate Goa'uld, you hate them, everybody hates Goa'ulds!"
O'Neill: "Yeah, okay, we'll do it."
Arris: "Good. You and you come with me, you two stay here."
O'Neill: "Oh, no, wait a minute...."
Arris: "Uh uh. Uh uh uh."
O'Neill: "Choiceless?"
Arris: "You see, that's why I like you. You're quick. Let's go."O'Neill: "You know, if you really were the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy, you'd grab that Goa'uld yourself and turn us all in."
Arris: "What, and miss the chance of watching the great Jack O'Neill in action?"Arris: "Look, do you want to know how I became the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy?"
O'Neill: "More than life itself."Arris: "All you've got to do is get close enough to shoot him with a zat'nik'atel."
O'Neill: "Okay, found a flaw in your plan."
Arris: "What's that?"
O'Neill: "Well, we're exactly one zat gun short of actually having a zat gun."
Arris: "Zat gun."
O'Neill: "Drop the 'nik'atel.'"
Arris: "I guess it does save a bit of effort."Daniel: "Jack, he said he disabled the DHD and Sam said we couldn't fly that ship all the way home."
O'Neill: "So we'll fly it to a closer planet with a Stargate."
Daniel: "Good thinking."
O'Neill: "It happens."Daniel, as they reach the open field: "Well, this is the place."
O'Neill: "Yeah. How'd he open the door?"
Daniel: "Ah...it opened when he said that word."
O'Neill: "What was activated...what was that word?"
Daniel: "Ah, bark-something."
O'Neill: "Almond bark. Barcalounger. Beetlejuice."
Daniel: "Barkna. I think it was barkna."
O'Neill: "Well, if it was barkna, the door would be opening, wouldn't it?"
Daniel: "This was your idea."
O'Neill: "You're the linguist."
Daniel: "I don't remember."
O'Neill: "Well, try!"
Daniel: "Well, okay, I said can we talk about it, he said inside."
O'Neill: "I said inside what. He said...?"
Daniel: "Barokna!" The door opens.
O'Neill: "Gesundheit."Arris, shooting himself: "Ooo...tickles."
Daniel, after Arris has just announced that he's "very disappointed" in SG-1 for trying to escape: "We're sorry. Is the deal still on the table?"
Daniel: "You don't seem to have much of a problem trading human lives like commodities."
Arris: "Oh, you earthlings and your morality. Has it ever occurred to you that someone outside your solar system might not see things the way you do?"O'Neill: "So, Teal'c, how does one Goa'uld fire weapons from several directions?"
Teal'c: "Taks."
O'Neill: "Tak'nik'atels?"
Teal'c: "Takmunitelemuniteron. Taks."O'Neill, as Arris leads Daniel, Teal'c and Korra into the prison: "Oh, yeah, way to play hard to get, boys."
Carter: "Teal'c?"
Teal'c: "We are choiceless."
O'Neill: "We'll find you."
Arris: "Oh, this is so beautiful. Really, I mean, I'm startin' to tear up, you know...but we've got to go, now."Arris: "So what made you betray Apophis?"
Teal'c: "The Goa'uld are enslavers of worlds, the humans value freedom."
Arris: "Well, you don't really think the Tok'ra and the humans have a chance of overthrowing the Goa'uld, do you?"
Teal'c: "I do."
Arris: "I don't think so."
Teal'c: "I would rather serve with those who are willing to die trying."Korra: "Somehow I must find a way to pay tribute to what you have done for me and the Tok'ra."
Teal'c: "There is no need."
Arris: "Hey, guys, what about me? Don't I get a thank you?"
Carter: "For doing the right thing for a change?"
Arris: "Well, it's kind of a backhanded show of appreciation...but I'll take it."Arris: "Oh, ah, Dr. Jackson, I was lying to you before. The price on your head is much more than a day's ration. Actually, the Goa'uld want to see you dead as much as anyone for figuring out the Stargate."
Daniel: "Thank you. That...doesn't make me feel any better."Demons
O'Neill: "Ah! Trees, trees...and more trees. What a wonderfully green universe we life in, eh?"O'Neill: "Do you read the Bible, Teal'c?"
Teal'c: "It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends."Simon: "The Elders will have to perform the trepanning ritual tonight to cleanse her."
Daniel: "Oh, geez."
O'Neill: "What?"
Daniel: "It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They...well, they'd drill a hole in the person's head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation."
O'Neill: "Thus...saving the person?"
Daniel: "Well, they didn't call them the Dark Ages because it was dark."O'Neill: "Damn. Unas?!"
Teal'c: "You are correct, O'Neill. The first host of the Goa'uld."
O'Neill: "No, no, no, no, no. We killed him, he's dead."
Teal'c: "We only killed one Unas."
O'Neill: "I thought there only was one! Unas, uno, one?"
Teal'c: "They are, in fact, a species."O'Neill: "The creature that just sauntered through your village is called an Unas."
Simon: "No, the time of sacrifice has been declared. I fear it will be...."
O'Neill: "Simon! Listen to me! Look, we'ver run into this kind of thing before. Now, it's not a demon. It's...demonesque, I'll grant you, but it's just a big, ugly creature."
Daniel: "Who is inhabited by a Goa'uld who gives it great strength, intelligence and the ability to regenerate."
O'Neill: "Yes. It's a very smart, resilient creature."
Daniel: "In the service of Sokar who, for all intensive purposes, is Satan to these people."
O'Neill, getting ticked at Daniel's clarifications: "But it's not a demon."
Daniel: "No, it's not a demon."O'Neill: "So what'd the lizard say? That he'd be back at sunrise?"
Teal'c: "Are you contemplating attack, O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "A couple of shots with a staff, we own him."
Carter: "We hope. Took Thor's Hammer to kill the last one."
O'Neill: "Alright, a whole bunch of shots with a staff. "O'Neill: "Carter, if I ever get the urge to help anybody again, feel free to give me a swift kick."
Daniel: "Teal'c! You're...alive."
Teal'c: "It is so."
O'Neill: "WAY TO GO, JUNIOR!!!"
Teal'c: "My symbiote has sustained me."O'Neill, about the crowd's amazement at seeing Teal'c alive: "You'd think these guys never saw a guy rise from the dead."
O'Neill: "Major, next time Daniel gets the urge to help someone, shoot him."
Simon: "I am sorry, Mary."
O'Neill: "Don't apologize to her, help her."
Simon: "The Canon has spoken."
O'Neill: "What are you, the village idiot?"O'Neill: "So...how long you gonna keep this up? The demon bit? Don't get me wrong, it looks like a great gig. You've got the padre in your back pocket, the hours are good, probably get all the chicks."
O'Neill: "Hey, Unas, what does Sokar have on you that makes you so dang cranky?"
Rules of Engagement
Kid: "Boy, are you guys gonna get it."
O'Neill: "Get what? From whom?"
Kid: "Hey, you can't talk!"
O'Neill: "Why not?"
Kid: "Because you're dead!"
O'Neill: "Dead?"
Kid: "Pretending to be dead will just get you into more trouble."
O'Neill: "More trouble than dead?"Daniel: "We're just trying to understand. If we're supposed to be dead...how are you supposed to kill us again?"
Kid: "You wanna find out, four eyes? Huh?"
Daniel: "Four eyes?"
O'Neill: "Easy, big fella. Just...play dead."
Teal'c: "Indeed."Rogers: "You are all casualties until 1400 hours."
O'Neill: "Would that be Daylight Savings or Standard?"Rogers: "We have studied hard and long and know much."
Carter: "About Earth."
Rogers: "Oh, yes. Corn and cotton are indigenous to North America."
O'Neill: "And that information could save your life one day."Rogers: "We have kept the Jaffa encampment separate so that we may better practice our Earth behavior. Shall I have them send for them?"
Daniel: "No, I don't think that will be necessary."
Teal'c: "Send for them."
Daniel: "Yes! Send for them."Carter, holding up an MP-5: "Teal'c, what about these?"
Teal'c: "They are intars."
O'Neill: "Short for...?"
Teal'c: "Intar."Carter, running out of the armory after hearing Apophis' voice: "Sir?"
O'Neill: "Just a huge, honkin' Apophis, Major. Nothing to worry about."Teal'c: "This is Colonel O'Neill. He is much loved by Apophis. You may address the warriors."
O'Neill: "Apophis wanted me to tell you you've been doing a wonderful job. Couldn't ask for more. Well done. But, he also wanted me to tell you that the whole invasion of the Tauri idea has been cancelled due to...rain."O'Neill, after telling the warriors Apophis is dead and no one says anything: "Hello? Is this mike on?"
Hammond: "What happened, Colonel?"
Rogers, to Hammond: "My lord?"
O'Neill: "Actually, we just call him General Hammond."Hammond: "I'd like to debrief ASAP, Colonel."
O'Neill: "Yes, my lord."Fraiser: "He won't eat, he won't speak...except to call me a sholva."
O'Neill: "You must be doin' a good job."O'Neill, taking a bite of Roger's sandwich: "Ole Doc Fraiser says you haven't been eating."
Rogers: "It's poison."
O'Neill: "It's hospital food, of course it is." He pauses and takes another bite. "Mmm...tuna...."
Rogers: "Go to Sokar."
O'Neill: "It's 'Go to hell,' actually, which, by the way, is a very rude thing to say to a person offering you a sandwich."
Rogers: "It means the same."
O'Neill: "You've got a point."
Rogers: "I will reveal nothing. You may begin torturing me."
O'Neill: "Oh, I've already begun. This is the infamous tuna torture." He waves the plate with the other half of the sandwich in front of Rogers. "Last chance." Rogers grabs it and takes a bite. "Good."Hammond: "What is your real name, Son?"
Rogers: "My true name is Rufiapises, Sir."
O'Neill: "Your Earth name's Kyle, can we call you Kyle?"O'Neill, after reviewing their plan once they return to the planet: "Is everyone clear on that? Daniel?"
Daniel: "What?"
O'Neill: "Good."Forever in a Day
O'Neill, to the others as Sha're bends over by Daniel, presumably to kiss him: "Um, maybe we should...."
Carter: "Glad to see you're okay, Daniel."
O'Neill: "Oh, he's going to be okay."
Fraiser: "Oh, it looks that way, yeah."O'Neill, to Daniel who's packing up the stuff in his office: "Hey. You should meet the whiz kid they saddled us with while you're out of commission."
Daniel: "Robert Rothman. He was my research assistance when I was doing my dissertation. Smart guy. Had a good teacher."
O'Neill: "Geek."
Daniel: "Yes, he used to call me that."
O'Neill: "I was talkin' about you."O'Neill: "How long you going to be gone?"
Daniel: "Didn't General Hammond tell you?"
O'Neill: "What, that you quit? Yeah, he told me that. But, uh, come on. We both know you can't stay away."
Daniel: "Then I guess we're both wrong 'cause I'm gone."
O'Neill: "Give it a week. You'll miss me."
Daniel: "Yes, I'll miss all the salty, bad-tempered insults, all the illogical arguments...."
O'Neill: "Okay, you'll miss Carter and Teal'c."
Daniel: "I'll miss Carter."Carter: "So."
Daniel: "So..."
O'Neill: "So! Now what?"
Daniel, shaking Robert's hand: "How're they treating you, Robert?"
Robert: "Oh, um...I think they'd rather have you. Especially Colonel O'Neill."
Daniel: "Well, don't let Jack get to you. He's just intimidated by you because you're, uh, you're way smarter than he is."O'Neill: "Hey, Daniel."
Daniel: "Hi. How'd you get in here?"
O'Neill: "You left the base before we could catch you. We thought we'd stop by and see you here."
Daniel: "How'd you get in here?"
O'Neill: "Got a secret waiting in the hall so I let us in. You need a new lock, by the way."O'Neill: "General! The guy has got two left feet. He slows down the unit."
Daniel: "Déjà vu."
O'Neill: "Déjà vu?"
Daniel: "Déjà vu. You know, Rothman was a two-time decathlon champion in college."
O'Neill: "Rothman?!"
Hammond: "Two left feet, huh?"
Daniel: "Trying to get Robert out of your unit?"
O'Neill: "Well, yeah."Daniel: "I've given it some thought and I've decided I'd like to come back."
O'Neill: "May I ask what changed your mind? You were fairly adamant."
Daniel: "I don't know. Let's just say there's something through the Stargate I think I still have to be the one to find."
O'Neill: "Now, see, I missed that. I have no idea what he means but I buy it."O'Neill: "So, Bruce Jenner, sit this one out, huh?"
Robert: "Ah, me? Why?"
O'Neill: "You've been reassigned to another unit."
Robert: "Why?"
O'Neill: "Okay, you're being replaced."
Robert: "Why?"
O'Neill: "Because I'm intimidated by your intelligence. Where's the confusion here?"O'Neill: "Daniel, the UAV didn't show any big signs of civilization, human, Goa'uld, or otherwise, so...."
Daniel: "So you want me to look for little signs of civilization. Itsy bitsy artifacts...."
O'Neill: "It's good to have you back."Past and Present
Carter: "Well, still don't detect anything out of the ordinary, Sir. Neither does the MALP. Things are okay."
O'Neill: "Well the MALP is worthless. You I'll trust."Woman: "The children are gone too."
Orner: "If we ever had children."
Woman: "Well, we weren't grown on trees, we came from somewhere."
Orner: "Then why have we only photographs of the elders and not of the children? Answer me that." He turns back to SG-1. "Daft."O'Neill, about Kyra and her many jobs: "Busy gal."
Woman: "We are all busy."
Orner: "We would be lost without her and you know it."
Woman: "You needn't flatter the woman when she isn't even in the room."
Orner: "I'll take them. You go home."
Woman, ticked: "Well don't expect supper!"Kyra: "You're not from Vias."
O'Neill: "What gave us away?"O'Neill, to Fraiser who's just arrived on Vias: "What's your name?"
Orner, after stepping through the Stargate: "Am I in one piece?"
Woman: "Yes, Orner, one skinny little piece."Kyra: "Is my clothing not acceptable?"
Daniel, now very uncomfortable: "No! No, no, no, no, no, it's...no, it's fine. It's...are you hungry? I can...I can have them send something down. You're hungry, I'm hungry, I'm going to have them send something down." She's backed him up against a wall." Are you...do you want something?"
Kyra: "Yes."
Daniel: "Right."O'Neill: "You were looking for me?"
Carter: "Yes, Sir. I've been studying Linea's journals. Apparently, she found a link between Dargol--it's a chemical pesticide the Vians use--and longevity."
O'Neill: "What does a bug spray have to do with longevity?"
Carter: "Well, it seems it was having the effect of slowing the aging process. Not in an extreme way but certainly significant enough."
O'Neill: "Lucky bugs."Carter: "Now, what if there really was a laboratory accident? Some massive chain of enhanced Dargol gas that caught even Linea by surprise? The entire population becomes young again overnight. You realize, of course, the implication."
O'Neill, nodding his head: "No."
Carter: "Ah, their elders aren't missing, Sir. They are the elders. The fountain of youth worked. The amnesia was simply a side-effect Linea didn't see coming."
O'Neill: "Wait a minute. Linea is dead, right?"
Carter: "Well...if those two bodies that Kyra found really were the Vian elders that Linea was experimenting on...."
O'Neill: "Don't say it, Carter."
Carter: "Sir, we wouldn't recognize her even if she walked in the front door."
O'Neill: "Don't, ah, ah...." He puts his hands to his ears. "La la la la la la!"
Carter: "Sir, she has the knowledge of chemistry, the medical skills...." She grabs O'Neill's hands and removes them from his ears. "I think we have to at least face the possibility that Kyra is Linea."Daniel: "Let me ask you a question. Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world? Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't pick me."
O'Neill, entering the lab to find Carter and Fraiser looking rather tired and unhappy: "Oh, my. There is a distinct lack of optimism in this room."
O'Neill: "Excuse me! Amnesia check." He makes the quote signs with his hands. "'Destroyer of Worlds'?"
Jolinar's Memories
O'Neill: "How did Jolinar get out?"
Martouf: "She never said."
Daniel: "And no one ever asked her how she escaped from an unescapable prison?"Martouf: "Without wanting to sound overly dramatic, the fate of the galaxy may be at stake."
O'Neill: "Sounds a bit overly dramatic."Carter: "When do we leave?"
Martouf: "As soon as we're ready...if you are all sure you understand what you're volunteering for."
Daniel: "You said hell, right?"
O'Neill: "Well, I'm going to end up there sooner or later, might as well check out the neighborhood."Martouf: "The Teltak we will require for the journey awaits us on the planet Boarsh."
O'Neill: "Ship?"
Martouf: "There is no Stargate on Naetu. Thos banished there are taken by ship."
O'Neill: "Have I mentioned to you that I hate surprises?"
Martouf: "We have a long journey ahead of us. There will be much time to inform you of the details...."
O'Neill, holding up a finger: "Ah! Now, see, that puts me in a position to be surprised."Teal'c: "Is this vessel equipped with stealth capabilities?"
Carter: "The ship we were in could make itself invisible."
Martouf: "Really?"
O'Neill: "It was an upgrade. You're obviously dealing with a base model here."Martouf: "The atmosphere around the moon is impenetrable by ship. The only way to reach the surface is the descent pods. It is how all the denizens are sent by Sokar and it is how we must also arrive if we are to convince the denizens we can be trusted."
Carter: "And there are only four pods."
Martouf: "Correct."
O'Neill: "This counts as a surprise, you know."Martouf: "Shall we embark?"
O'Neill: "By all means. To hell with us."Daniel: "That's, ah, that's still a long way down."
Martouf: "The pods are launched at a great velocity."
Daniel: "And that's supposed to make me feel better...?"Daniel: "My lungs are burning."
O'Neill: "Well, at least it's a dry heat."Daniel: "Is it me or is it actually getting hotter in here?"
O'Neill: "Ah, a little of both, probably."O'Neill, seeing the colony in Hell: "Well, certainly not Emerald City."
O'Neill, to the denizens: "Howdy, folks. We're, uh, new in these parts. I know that's hard to tell but it's true."
Nayo'nak: "Who are you?"
O'Neill: "People of little consequence. Pay no attention to us."O'Neill, after being tossed in the Pit: "Thank you! Mmm...smells keep getting better and better, don't they?"
Daniel: "I thought Sokar wouldn't allow any weapons. So far we've seen a staff weapon and a hand device."
Martouf: "I do not understand it myself."
O'Neill: "Surprise, surprise."Jacob: "Sam?"
Daniel: "She'll be back."
Jacob: "Where is she?"
Daniel: "With Binar."
Jacob: "Oh, no."
Martouf: "Samantha believes Binar is the key to our escape."
Jacob: "No, he's Sokar eyes and ears."
O'Neill: "Well, eye and ears."
Jacob: "He ensures there are no uprisings."
O'Neill: "Keeps the conditions livable."The Devil You Know
O'Neill, to Apophis: "You do understand we're not too happy to see you."
Daniel: "Your mate Ammonet is dead. Sorry to ruin your day. No, actually, I'm...I'm wrong about that. I'm not sorry."
Apophis: "Major Carter was most forthcoming."
O'Neill: "She didn't tell you squat. By the way, I won't either."O'Neill: "No, I don't wanna go to school."
O'Neill: "They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the 70s."
O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Yeah?"
O'Neill: "I'm gonna pass out again."Teal'c: "We have escaped."
O'Neill: "Ice tea, air conditioning...water."Jacob: "I was thinking maybe we could take a little father-daughter vacation together."
Carter: "That would be great, Dad."
Jacob: "I hear Alaska is cold this time of year."
Season 3 Quotes are Continued Here
Season 2 Quotes - Part 1
("The Serpent's Lair" through "Touchstone")Season 2 Quotes - Part 2
("A Matter of Time" through "Out of Mind")Season 3 Quotes - Part 2
("Foothold" through "Nemesis")
Main Page | Updates | Episodes | Characters | Quotes | Fiction | Odds & Ends | Links