There are additional quotes on each of the episode reviews.
A Matter of Time
O'Neill: "What's with the 'worm' part? The worm thing? I...I don't get that."
Carter: "Um, that's just a metaphor."
O'Neill: "Alright, I knew that."
Carter: "Imagine the galaxy is an apple. We burrow our way through the apple like a worm, crossing from one side to another instead of going around the outside."
O'Neill does some heavy thinking...still thinking... Carter stares at him waiting for some sign of understanding from him. Finally, he responds: "Okay."
Carter: "Now, of course, the diameter of the apple is just a two-dimensional representation of space-time and, well, the hole isn't really a hole per se but an incremential conduit..." She cuts herself off, realizing O'Neill is starting to tune her out. "Colonel?"
O'Neill: "Okay." He makes some cute finger gestures. "I'll be alright."
Carter, smiling: "Okay."Cromwell: "Sargeant, how long have you been out of contact with this facility?"
Sargeant: "Coming on four hours ago, Sir. But it was...funky for awhile before that."
Cromwell: "Is that proper military terminology? What exactly does 'funky' mean, Sargeant?"
Sargeant: "Everyone was talkin' real slow like...when the battery's down on your Walkman."
Cromwell: "Uh-huh."Cromwell: "My supervisors have reason to believe the SGC has been overrun by alien hostiles."
Fraiser: "Well all I can say is they've been misinformed."
Cromwell: "Well from what I have read about what goes on in this base, Dr. Fraiser, hell, you could be one of them for all I know."O'Neill, feeling a mini-earthquake thing pass through the control room: "Carter?"
Carter: "Gravity waves. Colonel, I assumed that the wormhole itself would isolate us from the black hole's gravitational field but it seems that our space-time has begun to warp, just like on P3W 451."
O'Neill: "Will you stop that!"
Carter: "We're in trouble, Sir."
O'Neill: "Thank you. Think of something."
Carter: "Yes, Sir."Cromwell, explaining why he's at the base: "Pentagon suspects alien hostiles."
O'Neill: "And they sent you?!"Cromwell: "What's the problem?"
O'Neill: "Well, we gated to a planet that's being sucked up by a black hole. Very bad. Very dangerous."
Cromwell: "Why is that?"
O'Neill: "Things tend to get sucked in."Carter: "Sir, for some reason the warping of our space-time seems to be an advance of the gravitational field rather than as a result of it. It's probably a lensing effect generated by the Stargate itself but I can't be sure." O'Neill nods.
Cromwell, to O'Neill: "Don't even pretend you understood that."Carter: "I have to contact the Pentagon and try to find a solution before the gravity field extends beyond the Gate Room."
Hammond: "I just came from there myself, Captain. Colonel Cromwell, I believe?"
Cromwell: "General Hammond."
O'Neill: "You just came from Washington, Sir?"
Hammond: "There and back again, after someone upstairs managed to explain what was going on to me. We called an all-night session with the Joint Chiefs. I've been gone nearly eighteen hours."
O'Neill: "I thought you were on the phone."Hammond: "The experts we consulted believe we're going to have to commence an auto-destruct sequence to destroy the Stargate itself."
O'Neill: "Sweet."Hammond: "I'll need two volunteers to stay behind in order to get our personnel a head start."
O'Neill: "I'll stay, Sir."
Cromwell: "Me too, Sir."
O'Neill: "Anyone else?"
Cromwell: "Looks like you're stuck with me, Jack."Carter: "Make sure you give yourself enough time to get out, Sir."
O'Neill: "Time. Right."Hammond: "Captain, relativity gives me a headache."
Carter: "Hey, Teal'c. You know anything about quantum gravity?"
Teal'c: "Nothing."
Carter: "Apparently neither do I."Carter, about the Joint Chiefs' plan to blow up the SGC: "In other words, Teal'c, they don't know what the hell is going on so they're just going to blow it up. And there doesn't seem to be a damn thing we can do about it."
Cromwell, to O'Neill about having to leave Boyd behind to die: "Maybe now you know how it feels."
O'Neill: "You done?"O'Neill: "One minute."
Cromwell: "May be the last one." Long pause. "We used to be friends, Jack."
O'Neill: "Yup."
Cromwell: "I was sick to my stomach when I found out you were still alive. I wanted to go back for you."
O'Neill: "Why don't we just do this and get the hell outta here, alright?"
Cromwell: "Someone dropped a dime on the incursion. You got hit. You went down. I made a judgment call to save the rest of the team."
O'Neill, getting ticked: "And I saw you take off. And then I saw four months of my life disappear inside some stinkin' Iraqi prison."
Cromwell: "I thought you were dead!"
O'Neill, now really ticked: "You thought wrong! What do you want? You want me to forgive you, is that it?"
Cromwell: "Yeah, I guess I do."
O'Neill: "Well, that's tough. What happened to nobody gets left behind?"
Cromwell, pointing to Boyd on the screen: "What about him?"
O'Neill: "That is a totally different scenario."
Cromwell: "That is the same damn thing, Jack."O'Neill, about Teal'c's burned shoulder: "You got better quick."
Teal'c: "It has in fact been several days."
O'Neill: "Yeah, I knew that."Cromwell, about yet another one of Carter's speeches: "Man, she is...."
O'Neill: "Way smarter than we are."Cromwell: "Like old times, ey, Jack?"
O'Neill: "Oh yeah. Black holes, worm holes, old times."Cromwell: "I feel like I've grown a couple hundred pounds."
O'Neill: "I wasn't going to say anything."Daniel: "Hey, Jack, did I miss anything?"
O'Neill: "What day is it?"
Daniel: "Well, this might be a little difficult to accept, but since you reported for duty yesterday, two weeks have actually gone by."
O'Neill: "Two weeks. Think I'll sleep in."
Hammond: "You do that."The Fifth Race
O'Neill: "Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time."Daniel, shouting to an empty room: "Helloo! Helloo! I'm Daniel Jackson. We're peaceful explorers from the planet Earth." O'Neill stares questioningly at him. "It's worth a try."
O'Neill: "Daniel, how long do you figure we ought to hang out here and scratch our cosmic heads?"
Daniel: "Well, we can't just give up. I mean...."
O'Neill: "Why not? Let's go home."O'Neill, agitated: "Teal'c looked. I looked. It grabbed my head, I passed out, I cam to, we're here, we're home, can we go?"
Hammond: "Colonel? Are you sure you're okay?"
O'Neill: "I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvus with me." Everyone stares at him. "What?"
Daniel: "You just said there's nothing cruvus with you."
O'Neill: "I did not."
Daniel: "Yes, you did."
O'Neill: "No I didn't."
Daniel: "Yes, you did."
O'Neill: "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
O'Neill: "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
O'Neill, his voice very strange: "Cruvus? What is that?"
Daniel: "I don't know. Um, well, I'm guessing the context of what you were saying you were trying to say that there was nothing wrong with you."Teal'c, looking at the boxing gloves: "What is the reason for these padded gloves, O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "So we don't hurt each other. I'll be honest with you, Teal'c, it's so you don't hurt me."
Teal'c: "If our purpose is to not cause each other harm, why then are we doing battle?"
O'Neill: "What can I tell ya, it's boxing. It's fun. Come on." He jumps around a bit. "Come on, Teal'c, you gotta move around a bit. You gotta dance."
Teal'c: "I do not understand, O'Neill. Are we preparing to dance or to do battle?"
O'Neill: "Teal'c, if you don't move around, you're a sitting duck. You're a target." He hits him in the stomach. "Ah, like that." Teal'c looks down where O'Neill hit him. O'Neill is concerned. "I'm sorry. Are you alright?"
Teal'c: "I am fine."
O'Neill: "Well, that's why you gotta move around." Teal'c smacks him on the head and he falls to the floor.
Teal'c: "How was that, O'Neill?"
O'Neill, standing and feeling his face: "It was good. It was good. But think about keeping your hands up. Is my nose bleeding?"
Teal'c: "You are fine."
O'Neill: "Keep your hands up. Gotta keep your feet moving. And...bend your cozars. Keep your cozars bent there."
Teal'c: "I am unfamiliar with that word."
O'Neill: "What? Cozars? Cozars." He points to his legs. "Gotta bend your cozars."
Teal'c: "I believe you are referring to your legs."O'Neill, barging into Daniel's office: "Alright, what the hell is going on with me?"
Daniel: "What do you mean?"
O'Neill: "Well, apparently I've lost the falatis to speak properly! That wasn't a joke. I didn't do that on purpose."O'Neill, looking at the image of the circle of symbols on the computer screen: "Nu ani aquinatus."
Daniel: "What?"
O'Neill: "Nu ani aquinatus, ic quabi de un...."
Daniel: "Jack, are you reading this?"
O'Neill: "I don't know, you tell me!"
Daniel: "Well, I don't know. I haven't even been able to associate sounds to the symbols." O'Neill is rubbing his eyes with his hand. "Do you know what this means?"
O'Neill: "No! I mean, I'm just looking at it and the words pop right into my fron! Does anybody think this is odd?!"Carter: "Colonel! What are you doing?"
O'Neill, playing with a little greenish yellowish tube: "I need this."
Carter: "What for?"
O'Neill: "I have no idea."Daniel: "Jack was able to read the alien language, both the inscription from the wall of the meeting place on Ernest's planet and the circle of symbols from 272 where this happened to him."
Hammond: "What does it mean?"
Daniel: "Oh, well, my translation is a little bit vague. Um, I think the circle means 'the place of our legacy'...or it could be 'a piece of our leg' but the first seems to make more sense."Hammond, watching O'Neill type furiously into the computer: "Colonel?"
O'Neill: "Yes, Sir?"
Hammond: "What are you doing?"
O'Neill: "I don't know, Sir. You know me and computers."
Hammond: "Colonel, I'm ordering you to stop."
O'Neill: "I'd love to, Sir, but I can't."Daniel: "Bottom line, Sir, what about Jack? I mean, right now I'm possibly his only hope for communicating on any serious level. I can't leave him like this. And I won't."
O'Neill, to Fraiser and Daniel in writing as he's drawing some stuff on a sheet of paper: "Shut up and go away."
Daniel, handing the scientists the device O'Neill made: "Here, you guys can, uh, work on this for awhile."
Siler: "What is it?"
Daniel: "No idea. Well, actually, not no idea, just not much of one yet. But...work on it."O'Neill: "You're the Asgard. Thor's race. Right?"
Asgard #1: "You have heard of us."
O'Neill: "Nothing but good things."Asgard #1: "Understand this. There was once an alliance of four great races in the galaxy. The Asgard, the Nox..."
O'Neill: "Met them."
Asgard #1: "...the Furlings..."
O'Neill: "Don't know them."
Asgard #1: "...and the Ancients, the builders of the Stargates."
O'Neill: "That's a pretty heady group."O'Neill: "Look, you all seem to be quite...wonderful...people...and, I don't want to sound ungrateful because I really, really appreciate you getting all that stuff out of my head, but you folks should understand that we're out there now. And we might not be ready for a lot of this stuff, but we're doing the best that we can. We are a very curious race." The Asgards exchange glances.
Asgard #2, extending its hand, which O'Neill takes: "You have already taken the first steps to becoming the fifth race."O'Neill: "I'm back."
Daniel: "What happened?"
Teal'c, almost smiling: "Do you still possess the knowledge of the Ancients?"
O'Neill: "Nope. Don't remember a thing. But you know that meaning of life stuff?" Daniel nods. "I think we're going to be all right."Serpent's Song
O'Neill, upon seeing Apophis: "Holy...buckets."O'Neill: "General Hammond, Apophis. Apophis, General Hammond."
Hammond: "We've met."
Apophis: "I demand Kel'ma."
Daniel: "I'm not really sure but I think what he's asking for is..."
Teal'c: "Sanctuary."
Daniel: "Right."
Hammond: "Why?"
O'Neill, smiling smuggly: "I think some rival Goa'uld just kicked his ass."Apophis: "I demand Kel'ma!"
Hammond: "You're not in a position to demand anything, Sir."O'Neill: "So what does he really want?"
Daniel: "You heard him yourself, he wants sanctuary."
O'Neill: "I'm not buying that."
Daniel: "He gambled we would show compassion even to our worst enemy. He was right."
O'Neill: "You think he orchestrated this? Let me tell ya something. The only compassion I showed was by not blowing his head off."Daniel: "So his blood is in the water and all the other sharks are having a feeding frenzy."
Teal'c: "And he has come here seeking refuge."Carter, as O'Neill slams his report on the table: "Sir?"
O'Neill: "I shoulda shot him."Apophis: "O'Neill. I am dying."
O'Neill: "My heart bleeds for you."O'Neill: "What do you want?"
Apophis: "To live."
O'Neill: "I can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute. You are your god. That's a problem."Apophis: "Your people. They are still primitive. You will be destroyed."
O'Neill: "You don't look like you're up to it."Apophis: "There is much you would learn from me, Tauri. But for that knowledge there is a price. A new host."
O'Neill: "A host."
Apophis: "So that I may live in exchange for all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. The secrets of star travel. Our weapons. Our power."
O'Neill, very amused: "All that."
Apophis: "In time more."
O'Neill: "Go to hell."
Apophis: "A single human life is worth so much you'd risk a world?"
O'Neill: "That's right. That's why they call us the good guys."O'Neill, about Sokar who was almost defeated by the alliance of Goa'uld System Lords in ancient Egypt: "Well, if he was almost wiped out, how bad could he be now?" Teal'c shooks him a confused look. "That's rhetorical, Teal'c."
Daniel, still talking about Sokar: "Yeah, basically he was the original Satan."
O'Neill: "Well isn't that special." A voice over the sound system alerts an incoming traveler. "Speak of the devil..."Apophis: "There was a time when you would die for me, Teal'c."
Teal'c: "That time is no more."Daniel, about turning Apophis over to Sokar: "Well, we couldn't right now even if we wanted to."
O'Neill: "Not with Beelzebub banging at the door, no."Apophis: "Help me."
O'Neill: "No."
Apophis: "A host."
O'Neill: "No."
Apophis: "I am afraid."Holiday
O'Neill: "Looks like somebody's closed up for the winter."Daniel, looking at a shrouded area: "I wonder what's in there?"
Machello: "I am in there."Teal'c, about Machello: "Before the ceremony of implantation, he killed several Jaffa and escaped."
O'Neill: "He did that?"Daniel: "Um, you don't have to be afraid. We're not Goa'ulds."
Machello: "We're not?...Of course we are not! But if we are not Goa'uld, who are we?"
Daniel: "Well, I'm Daniel Jackson from the planet Earth."
Machello: "Yes. Yes! That's right! I am Daniel Jackson from the planet Earth. Pleased to meet you."
Daniel, getting uncomfortable: "No, um, um, I'm Daniel Jackson."
Machello: "No, I'm Daniel Jackson."O'Neill: "Alright. Describe for me the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out."
Daniel (inside Machello's body): "I don't have a sister, Jack, and if I did I wouldn't let you near her."Machello (inside Daniel's body): "Why does no one answer me?"
Fred: "Because you're strange."
Machello: "Am I? Tell me how I am strange."
Fred: "Man, you can't be just walkin' up to people you don't know on the street and talkin' all weird like that, askin' for stuff."
Machello: "Isn't that what you are doing?"
Fred: "Well, yeah, but..."
Machello: "Then you must be strange as well!"
Fred: "I've been called worse. Sure, I'm strange too."Machello: "Let us feast together, Fred, and celebrate our strangeness and newfound friendship!"
Fred: "On you?"
Machello: "If that is the custom. We will feast...on me!"Hammond: "How did it go, Colonel?"
Teal'c (in O'Neill's body): "It did not go well, General Hammond."
O'Neill (in Teal'c's body): "Ya think?"Teal'c: "This is indeed uncomfortable."
O'Neill: "How do you think I feel, Teal'c? I've got a snake in my guy. You've got a comfortable, normal body."
Teal'c: "It is normal to you, O'Neill. Having a symbiote within is normal to me."
O'Neill: "Yeah, well, whatever. It's bad, okay?"Machello: "You are one of the most enchanting women I have seen in my lifetime. I would be honored by a kiss."
Waitress: "Yeah, I bet you would."Machello: "I continued to fight and lost all that I loved and cared for. But I knew I could not surrender. For you. If it were not for me, you would all be conquered by now."
Fred, laughing: "By who? Saddam?"
Machello: "He is not a system lord I am familiar with. But several others would have wiped you out."
Fred: "Whatever you say, man."Machello: "From now on I only want to eat hamburgers and French fries and ice cream sundays and I want to be with good people like you, Fred."
Fred: "All good things come to an end, Machello."
Machello: "Oh, no, my friend. Only evil things must come to an end. For good things, such as ourselves, it is possible to go on forever."
Fred: "Cool."O'Neill, after he's peformed Kelnoreem successfully: "Whoa. Sweet." He sees Teal'c standing in front of a sink. "Teal'c? What are you doing?"
Teal'c: "If I am to remain in this body, I must shave my head."
O'Neill: "You're making a joke, right?"
Teal'c: "I am not joking."
O'Neill: "Teal'c, you will not shave my head!!!"
Teal'c: "It is presently my head, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "Teal'c, this is temporary!"
Teal'c: "An if it is not?"
O'Neill: "Just give them a chance to find Daniel, okay? Teal'c, I'm going to see General Hammond. Promise me you won't touch the head until I get back."Machello, seeing a woman walk by: "How does one court a wife, Fred?"
Fred: "Usually with lots of time, energy, and those credit cards."
Machello: "Good. Let us begin now."Carter, to a motionless Daniel: "Come on, Daniel, they found the guy, they're bringing him in. You have to wake up. Daniel...you can't die on me now."
Daniel, weakly: "It's...nice to know you don't just like me for my looks."Hammond: "I don't know about the customs of your planet, but here on Earth the value of a life is priceless."
Daniel: "What right do you have to judge the value of my life?"
Daniel: "The Goa'uld use hosts because they think they're better than humans. Because they think they deserve it. You're a Goa'uld, Machello. I am nothing but a host to you."
Carter: "We're going to have to play a little musical chairs with your bodies."
Carter: "Colonel?"
O'Neill, inside Daniel's body: "I'm here."
Carter: "How do you feel, physically?"
O'Neill: "Peachy."Daniel, inside O'Neill's body: "Whoa! What a dream. What happened?"
Carter: "I don't have time to explain right now, Daniel, just bear with me."
Daniel: "Okay."
O'Neill, still inside Daniel's body: "Danny boy." He motions with his finger that Daniel should come join him.
Daniel: "Jack?"O'Neil, back in his body: "Yes! Yes!" He walks over to Teal'c. "Shave my head?! De...."
Daniel, back in his body: "I'm back."Machello, to Daniel: "Thank you for my holiday."
One False Step
O'Neill, watching the UAV (flying mini plane) whoosh through the Stargate: "That never gets old. I love that."Daniel: "Deja vu."
Teal'c: "I am unfamiliar with that term."
Daniel: "Um, it means I feel like I've been here before."
Teal'c: "That is correct, Daniel Jackson. Yesterday. When we first arrived on this planet."
Daniel: "Right. What was I thinking?"Daniel, seeing O'Neill rearrange his gun: "You know, I thought the alien on the video looked fairly docile. More curious than harmful."
O'Neill: "I thought he looked bald, white, and naked."Teal'c: "Since it is their planet, is it not we who are the aliens?"
Daniel: "Actually, the word 'alien' refers to anything characteristic of a very different place or culture. Anything really strange relative from our own perspective."
O'Neill: "Think we call you alien because you're from Chu'lac? Ha!"Daniel, to the alien: "Hi!" The alien runs away making a high-pitched sound. "Well, I guess that was the wrong thing to say."
Daniel, surrounded by the aliens: "Try smiling."
O'Neill: "This is bizarre."
Carter, the aliens closing in around them: "Ah, Daniel?"
Daniel: "Keep smiling. Don't move."
Teal'c: "I am not fond of this."
O'Neill: "Me neither."
Daniel: "They just want to see what we feel like." One of the aliens takes his knife. "Oh, hey, wait!"
O'Neill: "What?"
Daniel, smiling pleasantly as if actually saying "Oh, isn't that nice!": "One of them got my knife."
Carter: "I got it."Daniel: "Well, I have to admit this is one of the stranger cultures I've ever seen. As far as I can tell they're communal, but there's very little sign of actual social communication. I haven't seen any tools or signs of a functional civilization."
O'Neill: "So they're a little less evolved than we are."
Daniel: "Well, we don't want to jump to any conclusions. Remember the Nox."
Carter: "And they did build these homes."
O'Neill: "That's a kind appraisal. What about the UAV?"
Daniel: "Well, I've tried everything I know about rudimentary communication, and, to be honest, I've had more successful conversations with dogs."
O'Neill: "So...."
Daniel: "So they're probably a little less evolved than we are."Teal'c: "This one had lubricant from the UAV on his hands. Perhaps that is what has made him ill."
O'Neill: "Could be their national pasttime for all we know."Fraiser, coming through the Stargate: "Now this is a house call."
Daniel, about the plant: "Well, it had grown to over six feet tall and when I came up to it it just shrank back into the ground. I'm going to back up again, see if it does it again."
O'Neill, waiting for a few seconds: "Witness if you will. Squat."Teal'c, about O'Neill and Daniel arguing: "And the two of you will be fine?"
O'Neill: "Yeah, yeah. We'll be okay. I'm going to stick around and work on this quarantine thing with plant boy here."O'Neill, to the aliens in the room with the sick aliens: "Ah, ah, ah, ah! Get back! Get back! Fine." they leave the hut. "Knock yourself out. Go ahead. Go play in the street. Don't forget your sunblock." He turns to Daniel. "Why aren't you helping me?"
Daniel: "Oh, it's no use, they don't understand. They want to be with each other."
O'Neill: "Well, we're not going to stand around doing nothing."
Daniel: "We're not doing nothing."
O'Neill: "You're videotaping a plant."
Daniel: "Well I think this might be important."
O'Neill: "Well I think you might be losing what's left of your mind."
Daniel: "What's that supposed to mean?"
O'Neill: "It means that on a good day you can be a little flaky."
Daniel: "And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending."
O'Neill: "Not condescending. You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis."
Daniel: "Oh, please, we have a difference of opinion on just about everything."
O'Neill: "Give me an example."
Daniel, stuttering at first: "I don't know, pick something! How about mythology?"
O'Neill: "Rumors, lies, fairy tales."
Daniel, jumping up and down and turning all around: "See see see see see see! Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development!"
O'Neill: "Maybe it is! What does it have to do with filming a plant?!"
Daniel: "Exactly!"
O'Neill: "What does that mean?!"
Daniel: "I don't know!!!"
O'Neill, falling quiet. "Okay...what was that?"
Daniel: "I don't know. I don't feel so good."
O'Neill: "I've got a headache."
Daniel: "Maybe we're getting whatever they have."Daniel: "Can you do me a favor? Could you keep an eye on this plant thing for me?"
Teal'c: "I will keep both of my eyes on it, Daniel Jackson."O'Neill: "Listen, I, ah..."
Daniel: "No no, um, sorry, you were going to say."
O'Neill: "No, it's just that, ah, well...you know."
Daniel: "I know. I know. I know. You know that I...."
O'Neill: "I know. It's obvious there's...something...."
Daniel: "Something, something's wrong with us. Physically."
Fraiser: "Well, there's nothing wrong with you."
Daniel: "What?"
Fraiser: "Well, I've run every test I could short of exploratory brain surgery and you are both in perfect health."
O'Neill: "Huh."Hammond: "So this inaudible sound was making you sick, but not in the same way that is was affecting the aliens? They need the sound to live but we altered it by harming the organism that makes the sound?"
O'Neill: "Sounds right."Show and Tell
O'Neill: "So what do I call you?"
Boy: "I do not have a name."
O'Neill: "What does your mom call you?"
Boy: "Son."
O'Neill: "That's not much of a name."
Boy: "No. It's more of a description."
O'Neill: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "Mother says you too have a son."
O'Neill: "I had one. He's gone now."
Boy: "What was his name?"
O'Neill: "Charlie."
Boy: "I like Charlie. It's a good name. Can I be called Charlie?"
O'Neill: "Yeah, sure, if that's what you want."
Charlie: "Okay, Colonel O'Neill. I'm Charlie."
O'Neill: "Hi, Charlie." They shake hands. "Call me Jack."
Charlie: "Jack."Charlie, seeing Teal'c: "Jaffa!"
O'Neill, to Teal'c: "Get that a lot?"Charlie: "He's a Jaffa! He wants to kill me just like he killed the Ritu!"
O'Neill: "No, no, no! He's a good Jaffa. In fact he saved my life one time."
Charlie: "No!"
O'Neill: "Oh for crying out loud. Ah, look, Mom, you said you trust me, all right? Well I'm telling you, Teal'c is okay. As a matter of fact, all my friends here are okay. Okay?"
Charlie: "She's over there."
O'Neill: "Okay..."
Fraiser: "It's like Mother Nature put him together in a hurry and got everything just a little wrong."
Charlie: "The rebels believe that the glowing eyed people are too powerful to destroy directly. They can only be destroyed by...attrition."
O'Neill: "Attrition? What does that mean?"
Daniel: "Ah, attrition is the gradual diminuation of strength or numbers..."
O'Neill: "I know what the word means. I meant in context."Charlie: "Mother is growing impatient with your narrow-mindedness."
Carter: "Seems obvious that this Ritu exists."
O'Neill: "Well, here's a question. How do we deal with an invisible threat?"
Carter: "We need a way to defeat them."
O'Neill: "That would be helpful."
Teal'c: "I have that way. It seems that my symbiote can sense this creature."
O'Neill: "Okay, limited helpfulness right there."
Teal'c: "Explain."
O'Neill: "Can it tell us where exactly in a room a Ritu is? How many there are? What they're doing? Etcetera."
Teal'c: "It was not that specific. It only detected a presence."
O'Neill: "So...limited."Jacob: "Hello, Sam."
Carter: "Dad. We have a little bit of a situation and we may need Selmak's help."
Jacob: "Selmack, Selmack, Selmack! I thought maybe you just wanted to see your old man."
Carter: "I do, Dad."
Hammond: "But this time we do need your symbiote, Jacob."
Jacob: "Nice to see you too, George."
Hammond: "No offense, old friend."O'Neill: "How're you doing, Charlie?"
Charlie: "Tired. Really tired." He hears a noise. "Oh, for crying out loud...."Carter: "Even though we can't see them, these Ritu can definitely see us."
Teal'c: "Which puts us at a great strategic disadvantage. I can understand why the Goa'uld would want to eliminate them."
O'Neill: "They're Goa'uld, Teal'c. That's their job."Charlie: "Mother says not to cry."
O'Neill: "Crying's okay."
Charlie: "She says the boys of your culture do not cry."
O'Neill: "Not true. In fact, there's an official list of reasons for which crying is a good thing."
Charlie: "Mother is leaving."
O'Neill: "Well, see that's a good reason. Mom leaving is, I believe, number six on the list of good reasons. Actually, six is Mom says she's leaving in a couple days, five is Mome leaving immediately. Four is Mom already left. Now three is huge, one of the bigger ones on the list."Daniel: "Jack, what happens if they come through the door behind us?"
O'Neill, whirling around with his gun raised: "What?!" Realizes Daniel didn't mean that there were actually Ritu sneaking around behind them. "Don't do that!"1969
O'Neill: "What is she doing?"
Daniel: "Ah...she said something about having to time the calculations exactly right this time of year."
O'Neill: "This time of year? What difference does it make?"
Daniel: "Ah, she said something about solar...ah...well, to be honest with you, I wasn't really paying attention."
O'Neill: "Really?" Turns toward the Control room where Carter's bending over a computer. "Carter?"
Carter: "Almost there, Sir. This time of year the direct line between P2X 555 and Earth takes us within 70,000 miles of the sun. I have to update the computer's drift calculation to include gravitational space-time warping."
O'Neill: "We know that! Let's go."Sergeant, about SG-1's weapons: "The major wants all this stowed for transport, Sir."
Lieutenant: "What is it?"
Sergeant: "My orders are to forget I ever saw it, Sir, so I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."Carter: "I'm fairly certain that we've traveled back in time, roughly about thirty years. For a second or two, I think we were in both time frames simultaneously, which is why the Stargate seemed to be there one minute and was gone the next."
O'Neill: "Little bump in the calculations, Captain?"Carter: "We also cannnot tell anyone anything about who we are or where we're from."
O'Neill: "This is a top-secret facility. Anonymity does not go over big here."Sergeant, in Russian: "You soviet spies?"
Daniel: "Njet." ("No.")
O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "He just asked if we were Soviet Spies. I just...." He shuts up as he realizes what he just did.
Sergeant: "Come with me."
O'Neill: "Sure. You bet." To Daniel as he's leaving, "Njet."Thornbird: "I'm Major Robert Thornbird. And you are?"
O'Neill: "Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise."
Thornbird: "And your dog tags say otherwise."
O'Neill: "They're lying."
Thornbird: "Your American accent is very impressive, Mr. Kirk. Before we ship you out and hand you over to wherever it is they take spies such as yourself, I wanted a word. Your little incursion into our training facility will leave an embarassing mark on my record."
O'Neill: "Training facility?"
Thornbird: "You don't think we'd test fire a real missile 28 floors inside a mountain, do you?"
O'Neill: "Listen, you don't have the exact date...?"
Thornbird: "What was the weapon you used?"
O'Neill: "Weapon?"
Thornbird: "Our cameras saw some sort of weapon."
O'Neill: "Oh. Well, it's hard to say."
Thornbird: "Some sort of state secret?"
O'Neill: "No. Just difficult to pronounce."
Thornbird: "Mister, my government doesn't take kindly to Soviet spies in its highest security facility. Neither do I."
O'Neill: "Oh. Bob...can I call you Bob?"
Thornbird: "Even though you achieve nothing."
O'Neill: "Unless that's exactly what we were trying to achieve."
Thornbird: "Kirk, you can talk to me or you can talk to the CIA."
O'Neill: "Ooh. Alright. I'll be honest with you, Bob. My name's not Kirk. It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker."O'Neill: "Listen, I don't know where we're headed by they'll probably try to split us up. So we're not going to have much time to..."
Carter: "Escape and hopefully live out the rest of our lives without affecting history."
O'Neill: "Or...?"
Carter: "I can't think of an 'or' at the moment, Sir."
Daniel: "No 'or'?"
O'Neill: "There's an 'or.'"
Daniel: "There's an 'or'?"
Carter: "You can't just will something to happen because you want it to be a certain way."
O'Neill: "Captain, where there's a will there's an or."Daniel: "So what's the plan?"
O'Neill: "Find the Stargate."
Daniel: "Find the Stargate? That's...that's the plan?"
O'Neill: "Elegant in its simplicity, don't you think?"
Daniel: "And if we don't find the Stargate?"
O'Neill: "There's one in Antarctica."
Daniel: "There's one in Antarctica. That's...that's a fabulous plan."O'Neill, watching the cars driving on the highway: "You know, the 'Vette blew it when they went with that body style. They used to be so cool."
Daniel, about visiting Catherine: "So we go in disguise. Pretend to be...foreigners."
O'Neill: "How're you going to do that?"
Daniel: "Well I speak 23 different languages, pick one."Teal'c, watching Carter get nowhere with her hitchhiking skills: "This method appears to be ineffective." He walks toward the road.
O'Neill: "Teal'c? Teal'c!" Teal'c stands in front of a painted bus and it stops. "What were you thinking?!"
Teal'c: "That is effective, O'Neill."Michael, to Teal'c: "Come on, ride up front with me, brother. It's cool. I'm Michael."
Teal'c: "I am not at liberty to reveal my identity."
Michael: "Far out."Daniel: "Hello."
Jenny: "Hi. So what'd you do?"
Daniel: "We didn't...ah, we didn't do anything."
O'Neill: "We've got a little problem with...the Establishment."
Jenny: "I so relate to that."
Carter: "So, if you could take us as far as New York, we'd...."
Jenny: "I really love your hair."
Carter: "Thanks."
O'Neill: "Listen, we could really use some cheap clothes. So if you see a cheap clothes place around, we'd appreciate it."
Michael: "No sweat."Michael, about Teal'c's tattoo: "So, ah, your thing, that thing, what's it symbolize? Peace?"
Teal'c: "Slavery. To false gods."
Michael: "Right on! So, um, it's made outta...."
Teal'c: "Do not discuss it further."
Michael: "I dig. It's cool. So you just go AWOL? Hey, we're cool! After the concert, me and Jenny, we're even thinking of crossing the border up to Canada."
Teal'c: "For what reason?"
Michael: "You know, man. The war."
Teal'c: "The war with Canada?"
Michael: "No."Michael: "Who are you guys?"
O'Neill: "Come on, have something to eat."
Michael: "I mean, traveling between the Earth and where? What's that about?"
Carter: "When I said that I was just imagining...."
Michael: "Oh, I don't think so, man."
Jenny: "You said that you were in trouble with the Establishment."
O'Neill: "And...we are."
Daniel: "We are."
O'Neill: "Just...not the establishment of this planet. No, it's true, Michael. We came to Earth to hide among your people a long, long time ago."
Daniel: "From a galaxy far, far away."
O'Neill: "But now it's time to go home, and we need your help."
Jenny: "How?"
Daniel: "We need to be in a place called New York by tomorrow."
Michael: "I don't know, man."
O'Neill, pulling out his zat gun: "It's alright." He shoots the fire and it bursts up even brighter.
Michael: "Whoa! that was unreal!"
Teal'c: "It was in fact extremely real. As is our need for assistance."
Jenny: "We have to help them get home, Michael."
Michael: "Okay, we'll do it."Carter: "Sir, remember to use the hydrogen alpha solar filter."
O'Neill: "Or I'll burn my eyes out. I know."O'Neill, looking into the telescope: "It's showtime."
O'Neill: "Listen, I really have to say this. The two of you have been...unbelievably..."
Daniel: "Groovy."
O'Neill: "Groovy, I think, is the word."
Daniel: "Ah, the people of our world will be extremely grateful."
O'Neill: "Not the establishment."
Daniel: "No, not...not them."O'Neill: "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!"
Out of Mind
Trofsky: "Has it changed much?"
O'Neill: "There's no place like home."O'Neill, as Raleigh pushes a button-like device into O'Neill's head: "Owww!!! God, what is that?!"
Raleigh: "It's okay, Colonel. It's in. That's all the pain you'll feel."
O'Neill: "What a shame."
Raleigh: "As the Tok'ra explain it, this device stimulates the memory centers of your mind and amplifies it. Sort of like a capacitor for thoughts. And when it's hooked up to this device here it projects what the mind's eye is seeing holographically."
O'Neill: "Beautiful."Teal'c: "General Hammond, I will return to the planet immediately to search for the answers."
Hammond: "I can't let you do that, Teal'c."
Teal'c: "General Hammond. I will not remain idle while my friends may be in danger on this planet."
Fraiser: "Teal'c, you've been unconscious for three weeks."
Teal'c: "That is not possible. My symbiote would have awakened me long before the period of three weeks."
Fraiser: "You were barely alive, Teal'c. You had substantial internal injury."
Hammond: "Dr. Fraiser spent most of the three weeks at your side. I am convinced it was her refusal to give up that kept you alive."
Teal'c: "I am in your debt, Dr. Fraiser. General Hammond, permit me to return to this planet to search for my friends. If their bodies were not found by my side then they are prisoners."
Hammond: "If they're prisoners, they're long gone from that planet. We sent out UAVs, balloons, our best rescue teams, found nothing but scorched earth. There was not trace of them. They could be moved to any Goa'uld stronghold. You'd be searching for a needle in a very large haystack."
Teal'c: "Perhaps, but I must try."
Hammond: "Teal'c! I understand you're desire to do something, anything for SG-1. I feel the same way. But I cannot expend any more resources on this. I'm sorry. Request denied."
Teal'c: "If the people of the Tauri have given up hope on SG-1, then it is with great regret that I must leave this world and return to my people."
Hammond: "You mean you want to leave the SGC?"
Teal'c: "That is correct."
Hammond: "I can't let you do that, Teal'c. I won't let you do it."
Teal'c: "General Hammond. I hereby respectfully inform you that I must take my leave of the SGC. Therefore I am no longer under your command."
Hammond: "I can't allow you to do that. You represent too great a security risk."
Teal'c: "General Hammond. I would die before divulging any information about this world. I believe you know that."
Hammond: "Yes, I do."
Teal'c: "I will depart in one hour."Hammond: "Teal'c, you will be missed."
Teal'c: "I have learned much from you, General Hammond. For that I thank you."
Hammond: "I've learned a lot from you too, Teal'c. So we're even on that count. Take care of yourself."Carter: "I thought you were dead." She has a flashback to "Message in a Bottle." After O'Neill has removed the cord from her device, she mutters: "Whoa."
O'Neill: "Yeah. These things have a nasty habit of going off when you least expect it. Try not to think too much."Carter, about the device in her head: "Can't we take these things off?"
O'Neill: "I don't know. You tell me. Mine's in pretty deep."
Carter: "Yeah, you're right. Pulling them out might cause some nasty collateral damage."
O'Neill: "Yeah, we don't want that."Daniel: "I have more questions but that can wait."
O'Neill, opening a door only to find it blocked by a wall: "Damn cost cutting."
O'Neill, to Hathor: "Oh, I was so hoping never to see you again." A whole lotta guards enter with zat guns aimed at SG-1.
Hathor, to Daniel: "We have indeed missed you, our Beloved."
Carter: "Daniel, don't let her breathe on you."
Hathor: "You think we would go to all these lengths if you were not already immune to that organism? Do you like our guards? We managed to lure them from the remote outposts of our enemies. We are quietly building our forces before the System Lords even know we are alive. But doing so is difficult when we have to proceed with little knowledge of the state of the Empire."
O'Neill: "Let me take a guess, it's just a wild guess, but that's where we come in, right?"
Carter: "We know more than you do."
Hathor: "Perhaps. We are prepared to offer you a life of luxury as servants in our royal court for sharing information. Deny us and you will not enjoy the alternative."
O'Neill: "You know, you really should do something about that breath."
Hathor: "How do we contact the Asgard so that we might ally with their forces?"
O'Neill: "Try Roswell. Little place in New Mexico."
Hathor: "What is the sequence of numbers necessary to open the barricade protecting your Stargate?" Carter doesn't answer her. "If you will not give us the information that we desidre, we do have another means of retrieving it." She snaps her fingers and a Jaffa comes. "An opportunity has presented itself at a most fortunitous time. Our friend here is ready for a host." She pulls out a really wicked looking black Goa'uld, complete with a set of snapping teeth. "Tell us, which one of you shall it be?"
Season 2 Quotes - Part 1
("The Serpent's Lair" through "Touchstone")Season 3 Quotes - Part 1
("Into the Fire" through "The Devil You Know")Season 3 Quotes - Part 2
("Foothold" through "Nemesis")
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