First Aired On: January ?, 2001
Written By: Joseph Mallozzi
Directed By: Martin Wood
Guest Stars: Lawrence Dane (General Bauer), Tom McBeath (Maybourne), Gary Jones (Sgt. Davis), Ronny Cox (Senator Kinsey), Dan Shea (Sgt. Siler), Patti Allan (Kinsey's Wife), Gina Stockdale (Maid), Mark Pawson (Reporter), Norma Jean Wick (Reporter), Jacquie Janzen (Aide)
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Daniel factor:
Carter factor:
Teal'c factor:
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Related Episodes:
Daniel Jackson's History/Linguistic/Mythology Lesson:
Sam Carter's Physics Lesson:
Important Stargate Information:
Alien Species/Background:
Important everyday life stuff we learn from Stargate:
O'Neill: So, essentially we were ambushed on the way back to the gate.
Carter: We almost didn't make it out.
Hammond: If you delayed much longer you wouldn't have. I was about to close the iris.
O'Neill: Well, considering the SGC was taking fire, I'm kinda glad you waited as long as you did, sir.
Hammond: Strictly speaking, if I'd followed procedure you'd all be dead right now.
Carter: Well sir, every time we go through the Stargate it's a calculated risk.
Hammond: I realise that, Major. But frankly, I'm getting tired of sending good people out there never knowing if they're going to come back. I've had enough.
Daniel (concerned): I'm sorry, sir, what are you saying?
Hammond: I wanted you all to be the first to know. Effective immediately, I'm stepping down as commander of the SGC.Hammond: Jack, weren't you there for my goodbye speech?
O'Neill: Yes, I was, of course. You know that. And it was lovely, General, but do you really think I believe you're quitting because we ran into a little trouble out there? Hell, we've been presumed dead before.
Hammond: I don't have to explain myself to you, Colonel.
O'Neill: No, sir, you don't. You're my commanding officer. But could you throw me a bone?Teal'c: On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle it is custom to sing a song of lament. (pauses a moment) Fortunately we are not on Chulak.
Carter (as the entire SGC waits for their new commander): So what do we know about this new guy?
O'Neill (sighs): Not much.
Daniel: Let's hope he's not some sort of spit and polish, brass tacks...
O'Neill (quietly): Hard ass?
Daniel: I was building up to that. (the new general approaches)
O'Neill: Ten hut! (entire SGC comes to attention)
Bauer: My name is Major General Bauer. I'll be your new commanding officer. I'd just like to say I look forward to working with all of you. Thank you. (he leaves)
O'Neill: Squadron, at ease. (shrugs) Always leave em wanting more, I guess.Bauer: I've been going over your research into naquada reactors. Very impressive.
Carter: Well, large scale application is mostly theoretical right now, but the mineral does show incredible potential as an alternative power source.
Bauer: It also demonstrates some interesting properties when used in conjunction with nuclear ordinance.
Carter: Well, it does tend to increase the explosive effect, yes, sir.
Bauer: The Pentagon feels that the Stargate project, while exposing Earth to considerable danger, has yet to produce any practical returns. Now we've been working on a device designed specifically to take advantage of this Naquada enhancing effect. I'd like you to take part in the operation.
Carter: What about my duties with SG-1?
Bauer: You've been reassigned.
Daniel (shocked): What?
Bauer: As have you, Doctor Jackson. An archaeologist has no place on a front line unit. From now on you'll work as a consultant going off world only as required.Bauer: I've just been going through your mission reports.
O'Neill: Yes sir?
Bauer: They're satisfactory, although in the future you might want to include bullet point summaries with each section. Makes for an easier read.
O'Neill (incredulous): Bullet point summaries?
Bauer: Is there a problem with that?
O'Neill (going into full sarcasm mode): General, I realise the format of my reports is of vital importance, and if you'd like some day we can get together and talk about fonts and margins, but right now I'd like to discuss the fact you're dismantling my team without discussion.
Bauer (sternly): General Hammond might have allowed you a certain latitude in his presence, Colonel, but you'd do well to watch your tone with me.
O'Neill (impatiently): You know, General Hammond kept us together for a reason. The fact is if it wasn't for SG-1, right now you'd be sitting there with a snake in your head... instead of your head up your ass.
Bauer: Colonel! No one around here is above reproach. If it continues, your long history of insubordination will come to a swift and completely unspectacular end under my command, that I can assure you. Now, I suggest you take some time, think things over, decide if you still want to be a part of this operation. Dismissed, Colonel.Hammond: Have a seat. What are you doing here?
O'Neill: Ah, little vacation.
Hammond: Didn't you just take some time off?
O'Neill: Yeah, this one wasn't by choice.
Hammond: Not everyone is going to be as patient with you as I was.
O'Neill: That's why I'm here, sir.
Hammond: Bit of a rough adjustment?
O'Neill: Oh, no, no, everything's fine. SG-1's been dismantled. Daniel's got a desk job, Teal'c's with SG-3, and Carter's working on some kind of Doomsday machine. You know, same old, same old.
Hammond: Are you serious?
O'Neill: For once, yes.Hammond: Two weeks ago I was contacted by a representative of the NID. He suggested I should become more aggressive in my policies.
O'Neill: They have no jurisdiction over you.
Hammond: They wanted me to help them gain access to off world technology which they're unable to do since we shut down their little side operation.
O'Neill: You told them to go to hell.
Hammond: Of course. Then he told me if I didn't cooperate, there would be consequences. The next day, two men in plain clothes driving a black unmarked car picked up my granddaughters at school.
O'Neill: I don't believe it.
Hammond: They took them for a little ride and brought them home. The girls were fine, but I got the message. We're talking about an organization as powerful as the CIA. These people are above the law. I can't protect my family 24 hours a day. I had no choice.
O'Neill: Of course not.
Hammond: Don't get yourself into trouble over this, Jack.
O'Neill: You know me, sir.Maybourne: Nice of you to come by. I don't get a lot of visitors.
O'Neill: I find that hard to believe.
Maybourne: In my line of work people don't exactly stick by you through thick and thin. Most of my associates are busy trying to forget they ever knew me.
O'Neill: Your former associates are why I'm here. They're causing some problems for a friend of mine.
Maybourne: General Hammond.
O'Neill: What do you know?
Maybourne: Why should I tell you?
O'Neill: Because I can help you.
Maybourne: I've been convicted of treason. What can you do?
O'Neill: Air Force One and I go way back.
Maybourne (considers the offer): I suppose I'll have to trust you.
O'Neill: I wasn't gonna say it.O'Neill: All sounds so cloak-and-daggery.
Maybourne (snide): You're a special-ops colonel, Jack. Why do you always pretend to smell like roses?
O'Neill: Hey! I never threatened a 2-star general by kidnapping his grandkids.
Maybourne: Don't pretend to be so naive either.
O'Neill: How do I get them to back off?
Maybourne: You really want to play in my sandbox, Jack?
O'Neill: Tell me what I have to do.
Maybourne: Quid pro quo, Jack.
O'Neill: You're facing the death penalty. The best I can do is put in a good word, maybe recommend they commute your sentence to life.
Maybourne: You'll have to do a lot more than that. I can get you the information you need -- names, proof of certain influential persons' involvement with the NID.
O'Neill: Keep talking.
Maybourne: My word is useless. You want hard evidence, you're gonna have to get me out of here for a few days.Technician Davis: Receiving transmission sir. It's SG-3's iris code.
Bauer: Open the iris. (Teal'c and two others come through the wormhole. One man is injured) Where's Major Wade?
Teal'c: Dead.
Bauer: What happened?
Teal'c: We encountered heavy resistance. Lieutenant Morrison was providing cover fire...
Bauer (interrupting): What about the Naquada?
Teal'c: I believe I secured a sufficient amount.
Bauer: Excellent. You can give me your full briefing later.O'Neill (seeing Maybourne's apartment, which only has a computer desk and a refrigerator): Have you heard of IKEA?
O'Neill (as Maybourne opens the refrigerator): Oh, I see you're on that famous beer and mustard diet. How's that working out for you? (Maybourne hands him a beer) No thanks.
Maybourne (removing a bag with a disk from the freezer): If anyone tries to boot the computer up without this disk, the whole thing fries. (He moves to the computer)
O'Neill: What are you doing?
Maybourne: Accessing NID files on the internet.
O'Neill: On the internet?
Maybourne: The organization is made up of cells. They communicate with each other by accessing bulletin boards online. Information is deposited on any number of firewall protected floating servers and accessed using decoding software and passwords.
O'Neill: Yadda yadda, blah blah. Why'd we have to come here for this?
Maybourne: Because the decoding software happens to be on this computer. (types some commands) They've deactivated my password.
O'Neill: Now there's a shocker.
Maybourne: I'll try to hack in through the back door.Carter: The naquada we got from P3S-452 has been successfully incorporated into the device.
Bauer: I'm glad to hear it. Here's the test site. (he hands Carter a file)
Carter (surprised): This planet supports plant and animal life.
Bauer: Yes. But the aerial survey shows no sign of habitation within a fifty mile radius of the Gate.
Carter: That may not be good enough. I'll need some time to run some simulations. Sir, we've never done anything like this before, and I'm not entirely sure how destructive this device will be.
Bauer: Major, the whole point of the experiment is to determine how destructive the device will be. Request denied.Maybourne: Jack? Once you get the information that links the key names to the NID, what are you gonna do with it?
O'Neill: What do you think?
Maybourne (contemptuously): I think you're gonna turn it over to the Pentagon and hope the proper chain of command leads to justice.
O'Neill: You trying to say something to me, Harry?
Maybourne: You can't take down the whole NID, and they'll kill you for trying.
O'Neill: That wouldn't be very nice.
Maybourne: But you might be able to hold the incriminating evidence over them and get Hammond reinstated.O'Neill (talking on the phone): Yeah, Daniel. How are things at camp?
Daniel: Not good. General Bauer's testing his new naquada bomb. He's taking shortcuts which Sam thinks could be disastrous.
O'Neill: Well, Maybourne claims he doesn't know whether Bauer's in with the NID or just a gung ho patsy.
Daniel: Well, either way he's dangerous.Maybourne: You want one? (gestures to the hot dog)
O'Neill: No, you know there's still something about you that puts me off my food.
Maybourne: I know you've got a strong stomach, Jack. I read your file.
O'Neill: Now what does that have to do with anything?
Maybourne: You wanna help General Hammond, you're gonna have to get you're hands dirty. I need to know you're willing to see this thing through.
O'Neill: Under no other circumstances would I sit here and watch you eat.Daniel: The aerial survey shows evidence of an old Goa'uld mining operation. Now, even though it's probably been shut down for several thousand years, there could still be significant amounts of Naquada present on that planet.
Bauer: Our soil samples indicate only minute traces.
Carter (surprised): The geological survey I read said there was none.
Bauer: We're not stopping the test.
Carter: I don't think you realize the implications of this... (stops and thinks) or maybe you do.
Bauer (coldly): Are you making an accusation Major?
Carter: You knew all along didn't you? You were hoping for a chain reaction with the Naquada in the soil. Sir, that entire planet could be destroyed.
Bauer: The possibility has been considered. Most worlds occupied by the Goa'uld do have a high incidence of Naquada. This could be a very effective weapon against them.
Carter: There's only one problem sir. When that bomb goes off we'll still be connected to that planet by an active Stargate and we've seen radiation, gravitational effects, even time distortions translated back through an outgoing wormhole.
Bauer: According to my intelligence we should be able to get just enough data before the Stargate is destroyed and the wormhole disconnected.
Carter: Who provided this intelligence?
Bauer: That is not your concern.
Carter: Sir we've seen the Stargate survive a direct hit from a meteorite! The truth is we have no way of knowing what might happen.
Bauer: A risk assessment has been made. It was deemed acceptable. End of discussion.Kinsey: What the hell are you doing here?
Maybourne: Our invitations must have got lost in the mail.
Kinsey: This is not a good time. (his wife comes to the door)
Mrs. Kinsey: Who is it, dear?
Kinsey: A couple of old friends.
O'Neill: Afternoon ma'am. I'm Mr. Starsky, this is... Hutch.Mrs. Kinsey (as Jack pats the family dog): He seems to like you, Mr. Starsky.
O'Neill: Birds of feather, ma'am.
Kinsey: Dear, Starsky and Hutch is an old TV show.
Mrs. Kinsey : Oh, you're actors then?Carter: The observation MALP was destroyed.
Teal'c: The wormhole did not disconnect.
Technician Davis: Sir, I'm picking up increasing levels of radiation in the gateroom.
Carter: They're Gamma rays, ultra high frequency.
Bauer: Shut down the gate!
Davis: No response. Radiation levels approaching critical.
Carter: Close the iris!
Davis (closing the iris): Radiation levels decreasing.
Carter: Sir, if that iris succumbs to the heat and loses integrity, there will be no way to stop the radiation from bombarding the base. We have to evacuate.
Bauer: We were positive the gate would be destroyed.
Carter: Sir, we have act now. (shocked, Bauer nods, and Carter grabs the intercom microphone) Attention, all personnel. By order of General Bauer, commence immediate evacuation of the base. Repeat, immediate evacuation This is not a drill. (to Bauer) We can monitor the gate from a security station on Level 16.
Bauer: What's going to happen, Major?
Carter (extremely angry): I have no way of knowing that, sir.
Daniel: Guess your risk assessment didn't cover this.O'Neill: We need some information on the NID.
Kinsey: The NID?
O'Neill: Snaky government agency involved in all sorts of illegal
covert operations like blackmailing Air Force Generals.
Kinsey (sighs): You are making less and less sense to me as the seconds are passing away, along with my patience.
Maybourne: Don't tell me you're not aware of all the money they funneled into your re-election campaign?
Kinsey: If you have a problem with my campaign finances, why don't you take it up with the Federal Elections Commission?Kinsey: I'm sorry, gentlemen, but this conversation has lost all amusement for me. I have a party to get back to.
O'Neill: We're not going anywhere.
Kinsey: Excuse me?
O'Neill: I'm not leaving until I get what I came for.
Kinsey: Oh, and what are you going to do?
O'Neill (pulls out a gun and cocks it, pointing it at Kinsey): Well, I was thinking about shooting you.
Maybourne: Jack, what are you doing?
O'Neill: Getting a litle dirty for you, Maybourne?Bauer: We'll have to set the auto destruct.
Teal'c: The gate on the other side survived the explosion, would not ours as well?
Bauer: But at least it would be buried under a million tons of rock.
Carter: That wouldn't stop it from pumping out radiation. Eventually, the heat is going to melt through that iris.
Bauer: Then what do we do, Major?
Carter (thinks for a moment): There is a chance that the gate will shut down on its own.
Bauer: The 38 minute window.Kinsey: Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses?
O'Neill: I'm hanging around Maybourne, what does that say?
Kinsey: How dare you come into my house waving a gun?
O'Neill: Not waving. Pointing. Sit down.Kinsey: If you don't care about your own career, maybe you should think about your friends.
O'Neill: What's that mean?
Kinsey: You mess with me, Dr. Jackson will be out of the SGC permanently, Major Carter will be scrubbing toilets in some Air Force weather station in Alaska, and as for the alien, Teal'c, well let's just say I know some bioengineers in the Department of Defense who would love to get their hands on his symbiote.Kinsey: The only currency in this town is power. So if I have to shake hands with the devil in order to do the Lord's work, then so be it.
O'Neill: You self-righteous son of a bitch, where do you get off--
Kinsey: Judge not lest ye be judged! I read the mission reports that come out of that mountain. You play with the fate of this planet on a daily basis.
O'Neill: I'm doing the job I was asked to do. I doubt very much your constituents could say the same about you.
Kinsey (laughs): Oh, please! Given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing.
O'Neill: Which explains how you got elected.Kinsey: What are you going to do? Take down the whole NID?
O'Neill: Nope. Here's the deal. Get them to reinstate Hammond or this disk goes to the press.
Kinsey: It'll never see the light of day.
O'Neill: Well, I really don't think you'll see the light of day if your secret friends find out you're the weak link.
Kinsey: You learned to play hard ball pretty fast, didn't you Colonel?
O'Neill: I had a good teacher.Bauer (when the 38 minute window arrives): It's still open.
Carter: Yes, sir.
Bauer: Well, there's no point staying here. I'll inform the president from the surface.
Carter (sarcastically): Yes sir, I'm sure it'll be much safer up there. (Bauer, Carter, and Daniel leave the room. As Teal'c turns to leave, he sees the wormhole disengage)
Teal'c: Major Carter! (the others come back)
Bauer: What happened?
Carter: The gate shut itself off.
Bauer: Are you sure?
Carter: It's over.
Bauer: For what it's worth, Major, I'm sorry.Reporter: Senator Kinsey, we have heard you are planning a run for the White House.
Kinsey: White House?
Female Reporter: Are you declaring your candidacy?
Kinsey: Diane, this is really not how I intended this to come out.
Reporter: So it's true then, Senator? (as Kinsey talks to the reporters, Maybourne and O'Neill walk to their car, past the NID agents who can't stop them in view of the press)
Kinsey: Well, now that you're all here, we've often talked about my goals. Do I think I would make a good President? You're damn right I would. You know how I feel about things, you know how hard I've worked. The potential I see in the people of this great nation and the way so many of its' leaders have let them down -- it's enough to bring tears to your eyes. The solution to the problems by our government are so simple. Listen to the people...O'Neill: General, it's good to have you back.
Hammond: Thank you. I hear I missed quite a bit of excitement while I was gone.
O'Neill: You'll have to ask Carter about that, sir.
Hammond: I'm looking forward to the debriefing.
O'Neill (smiles): As am I.
Hammond: Jack, what do I owe you for this?
O'Neill: Continued latitude, patience and understanding. So, just be yourself sir.O'Neill: Maybourne. Where are you?
Maybourne: Well, not in jail if that's what you think. I emailed myself a copy of the incriminating evidence when I saved it to disk for you.
O'Neill: I know.
Maybourne: Kinsey felt obligated to get me transferred to a nicer facility while I await my execution. Made things simple after that.
O'Neill: Why didn't you try to escape when you were with me?
Maybourne: Oh, come on, Jack, you trusted me. I didn't want you to look bad for the President. Besides you're too good to have let it happen.
O'Neill: So what are you going to do now?
Maybourne: Well, short term, I think I'll have a few margaritas, after that who knows?O'Neill: General, about what you owe me?
Hammond: Anything I can do.
O'Neill: Well, nothing right now, but one day I may ask you to buy back my soul.
The Serpent's Venom 2010
