| Synopsis | Review | Quotes |
First Aired On: August 15, 1998
Written By: Jonathan Glassner
Directed By: William Gerehty
Guest Stars: Teryl Rothery (Dr. Janet Fraiser), Gary Jones (Technician), Steve Makay (Colonel Makepeace), Nicole Oliver, Gerard Plunket
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Related Episodes:
Daniel Jackson's History/Linguistic/Mythology Lesson:
Sam Carter's Physics Lesson:
Important Stargate Information:
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Important everyday life stuff we learn from Stargate:
Quotes:
O'Neill, about a planet Hammond is describing: "Let me guess. That's where we're going."
Hammond: "Very good, Colonel."
O'Neill: "Thank you, Sir. I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills."
Hammond: "In one hour you will go through the Gate to the planet represented by these symbols. It has been designated P3X 797."
Daniel: "Couldn't we call this planet something that's a little easier to remember?"
Carter: "Ah, it's based on a binary code the computer uses for extrapolation."
O'Neill: "Which makes it much easier to remember."Daniel: "This is crazy. We don't know what could be there waiting for us when we come through."
Makepeace: "Don't you worry, boys. That's why the SG-3 marines are coming with. You can count on us to watch your backsides."
Daniel: "Actually, it was more my front side I was worrying about."O'Neill, to Daniel and handing him some big goggles: "You're late. Put these on."
Daniel: "It doesn't look like my prescription."Makepeace: "Ok. We'll take point."
O'Neill: "Ah, we'll go through first. You watch our lovely backsides, remember?"
Makepeace: "Have it your way."
Daniel: "Are you out of your mind?"
O'Neill: "If Skaara or Sha're are on the other side, those jarheads will fire the minute they see the light of their eyes, if you know what I mean. You want that?" Daniel responds by extending his arm, motioning O'Neill to go first.Makepeace, waving his gun through the event horizon: "One one thousand. Two one thousand."
O'Neill: "Daniel, what are they?"
Daniel: "Well, the don't look completely homo sapiens. Ah, the larger brow ridge would imply homo erectus, but then again they'd have canine teeth. Ah, it could be ostoropithicus but then the brow ridge would be less prominent..."
O'Neill: "You don't know, do you?"
Daniel: "No."Woman: "We are pleased the gods have deemed us worthy of a return visit."
O'Neill: "Gods?"
Daniel: "Ah, only the gods come through the Stargate. I think they're talking about us. We should probably start getting used to this kind of treatment."
O'Neill: "Oh, for crying out loud. We're not gods. Get up."O'Neill, upon seeing their meeting room: "Love what they've done with the place."
Carter: "I was going to do my living room like this, but it didn't go with my other stuff."
Daniel: "Looks Minoan."O'Neill: "Sounds like the Goa'uld aren't here and haven't been for some time."
Teal'c: "That's my assessment as well."
O'Neill: "Daniel? Carter?"
Daniel: "I agree." Carter nods.
O'Neill: "In that case, gear up. We'll move out in fifteen minutes."
Daniel: "Wait a minute, move out?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. Back to the Stargate, back to Earth, terra firma, home, you've heard of it?"
Daniel: "Well, ah, we should stay a while longer, study the society, learn how they've evolved from the Minoan culture. I mean...you see those statues over there, those are bulls. The bulls are all throughout Minoan culture on Earth but we never really knew why."
O'Neill: "Yeah, I'm a big fan of all this stuff. But art appreciation is not what this mission is about."Hammond: "Find anything?"
O'Neill: "Ah, no Sir."
Daniel: "Yes, Sir. Ah, actually, Sir, we found a whole helluva lot, Sir."
O'Neill: "Some beautiful decor, nice folks, nothing of strategic importance, Sir."Daniel: "I'm sorry, Sir, I know I'm a guest at this party, Sir, but I have to protest."
Hammond: "Let me guess, Doctor, this is a science vs. military discussion again."
Daniel: "Well, yes. This mission is a perfect example of my argument. We should have stayed on that planet longer. It was the perfect opportunity to study the Minoan culture."
Carter: "Not to mention primitive man."
Hammond: "This really isn't necessary, Doctors. I've already..."
Daniel: "Sir, will you let me finish? Please? Ok. Um, the people on the Dark Side are pre-Stone Age but the people on the Light Side are clearly from the Bronze Age. So what better opportunity to study the Broca Divide?"
O'Neill, yawning: "The what? Excuse me."
Carter: "The Broca Divide. Pierre Paul Broca was a 19th century anthropologist. He founded modern craniometry to study craniums and brains and to compare the divide in intelligence between early species of mankind."
O'Neill: "Fascinating. Should I start the debriefing, Sir?"
Hammond: "That would be a good idea, Colonel."
Daniel: "Now, just, just...wait a minute!"
Hammond: "Dr. Jackson, you're wasting your breath. You've already won the argument."
Daniel: "But I have to insist you...what, what, what? I've already won?"
Hammond: "The President agrees with you. He's asked that we evaluate the scientific and cultural value of each mission from now on."
O'Neill: "Oh, for crying out loud."
Daniel: "He does."
Carter: "That's great!"Teal'c, about Johnson: "General, I would prefer to not hurt this man."
O'Neill: "Carter! Ah, sorry, I didn't know you were in here." She kisses him. "What the hell is going on?!"
Carter: "I want you." She kisses him again.
O'Neill, muffled: "Why? I didn't know! Carter, you're little out of line." She pins him to the bench.
Carter: "Don't you want me?" Kisses him yet again.
O'Neill, muffled: "No, no, not like this! Carter, what's gotten into you?!" He flips her over and pins her to a locker. "I think it's about time you saw a doctor, Doctor."Fraiser: "This is the strangest thing I've ever seen."
Fraiser: "You don't know what you're going to bring back through the Stargate."
Fraiser: "Most female low-level primates tend to choose their sexual partners according to who would give them the strongest offspring. The leaders of a pack or a tribe are usually the prime choice. You should be flattered."
O'Neill: "Oh yeah. I'm honored."Daniel: "Jack, here you are. Got on the internet to do a little research on ostelopificus and...wow. What happened to you?"
O'Neill: "Oh, I got into a little wrestling match with Carter."
Daniel: "Why...?"
O'Neill: "I guess she's got whatever Johnson's got. I had to drag her off to the infirmary."
Daniel: "What, did she start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?"
O'Neill: "No, she, uh, tried to seduce me."
Daniel: "Oh. You...poor man."
O'Neill: "No, it wasn't like that. She was like a wild animal. She was nuts."
Daniel: "Well, is she alright? I should go see her."
O'Neill: "Why?"
Daniel: "What do you mean, 'why'? Because I care about her." O'Neill grabs his coat.
O'Neill: "'Care about her'? What does that mean?"
Daniel: "It means I care about her, she's my friend. Now let...go..."
O'Neill: "She's not yours to care about."
Daniel: "What the hell are you talking about?"
O'Neill: "I'm talking about Samantha. You just stay away from her, ok?"
Daniel: "Ok, ok Jack. I think you should come with me to the infirmary. Just let go of me...let go of my arm..." O'Neill proceeds to beat Daniel up.Fraiser: "I have never seen anything like this on Earth."
Daniel: "Exactly. On Earth."Daniel, about the people on the Dark Side: "We came in contact with them. Isn't that special."
Fraiser: "So, the question is, why haven't you and Mr. Teal'c come down with the symptoms?"
Daniel: "Ah, Mr. Teal'c...Teal'c's symbiote probably protects him."
Teal'c: "That would be likely."
Fraiser: "What about you, Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel: "That beats me. You're the doctor, Doctor. Ah, maybe I have a natural immunity."
Teal'c: "Perhaps you will develop symptoms later."
Daniel: "Thank you for the moral support."Daniel: "They're like lepers. The Dark Side is a leper colony."
Teal'c: "What is a leper?"
Daniel: "Never mind."Fraiser: "Sorry, Colonel, but your private room just became semi-private."
Teal'c, to the people of the Light Side: "How can you be so unheart?"
O'Neill: "Teal'c! Doc! Open the door! Teal'c!"
Teal'c: "Colonel O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "Lucy! I'm home!"
Teal'c: "I am not Lucy."
O'Neill: "I know that. It was a reference to an old T...never mind. Open the door."
Teal'c: "I will summon the doctor."
O'Neill: "No, no, come on, I'm fine. I'm back to being myself. Just open up."
Teal'c: "I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself. You referred to me as 'Lucy.'"
O'Neill: "Oh, for crying out loud, will you just open the door?"O'Neill, to a primitive Daniel: "Daniel, you dog. Keep this up you'll have a girl on every planet."
Daniel: "Jack!"
O'Neill: "There's our boy."
Daniel: "Where are we?"
Teal'c: "The Light Side of P3X 797."
Daniel: "I thought we were going to give it a better name."
O'Neill: "He's back. He's normal."Carter: "Ah, Sir?"
O'Neill: "Yeah."
Carter: "About my earlier behavior...I wasn't myself."
O'Neill: "Oh, Carter, I don't even remember your earlier behavior."
Carter: "You don't?"
O'Neill: "No, I was infected myself. Remember?"
Carter: "Right! Good, I'm glad."
O'Neill: "By the way. How's the wound?"
Carter: "Wound?"
O'Neill: "I understand you got stabbed in the stomach or something?"
Carter: "Oh, yeah, it was nothing. With any luck there won't even be a scar."
O'Neill: "Oh good, I was concerned."
Carter: "You were?"
O'Neill: "Sure. If it doesn't heal properly you'll never wear that sweet little tank top number again."
Emancipation The First Commandment
